What Does The Bible Say About Forgiveness?
Video Timeline
WELCOME
0:00 - Welcome with Sharon & Rach
TALK with Jenny Taylor
04:40 - What Does The Bible Say About Forgiveness?
05:37 - What Does Jesus Teach About Forgiveness?
07:42 - The Parable Of The Unforgiving Debtor
10:28 - Jesus Paid All Our Debts On The Cross
13:38 - What Is Unforgiveness And How Does It Affect Us?
15:18 - How Can We Practice Forgiveness?
17:10 - What Does The Bible Say About Forgiving But Not Forgetting?
18:12 - The Murder Of Anthony Walker
20:15 - God Chooses Not To Remember Our Sins
PRAYER
23:36 - Prayer For Ukraine
WORSHIP
26:11 - Reckless Love with Lyrics
CONVERSATION STREET with Sharon & Rach
What does the Bible say about Forgiveness?
— Jennie Taylor
Hi, I'm Jenny and I'm going to try and give you a quick overview of what the Bible has to say about forgiveness. And we're going to be looking at the first four books of the New Testament - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Because in those books we read about Jesus's life here on Earth. We read about Jesus spending time with his friends, meeting with people in need, meeting those needs, performing miracles and healings, and getting into quite a few arguments with the religious leaders of the time. But we also read about Jesus's teachings on how we should live. And the life he teaches about is a life of forgiveness and love.
What does Jesus teach about forgiveness?
Well, in the book of Matthew, there is a great story about forgiveness that I think we could look at together. It starts in chapter 18, verse 21. And this is what Peter, Jesus's disciple says to him,
That's a lot of times! If you've ever been deeply or repeatedly hurt by somebody, you could understand Peter's question, because I think most of us don't want to keep forgiving people over and over again. I'm sure Peter was hoping that Jesus's response would be different. But Jesus's teachings are in fact to keep on forgiving. Over and over, there is no limit to the amount of forgiveness we're to show to each other.
And I think when you hear something like that, it sounds like something that you just couldn't possibly do. Because when we've been hurt, understandably, we want the other person to pay for what they've done. And we might think about that as maybe justice or retribution of some kind. But either way, we either want the person who's hurt us to also be harmed in some way, or we want them to make amends. We want them to do something to repair the damage, to pay for what they've done. And once they've done that, then we might think about whether or not we're going to forgive them. Jesus turns that around completely. He puts the responsibility on us to offer forgiveness to those who've hurt us whether or not they're sorry, and whether or not they've done anything to repair that damage.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor
And after Jesus has said this to Peter, he goes on to tell a story about a servant and a king. And in the story, the servant owes the king a huge debt, a huge sum of money that he's borrowed, that he cannot repay. And in fact, the debt is so high that even if the servant was to sell himself and his entire family into slavery, he would not be able to repay the debt in his lifetime. The King hearing this man's plight has mercy on him, and completely forgives the debt. He wipes it out so that it is no more. Later, that same day, the man comes across another servant that he works with who owes him a small amount of money. And that servant can't pay either. And he throws him into jail. When the King finds out, he is furious. He punishes the servant and throws him back into jail until he can pay the whole debt.
Now, I don't know about you, but I think I can easily see myself in that story. Because oftentimes, just like that servant, we want to be forgiven for the things we know we've done wrong, but we're not so keen on offering that same forgiveness to other people when they hurt us. But sometimes when people hurt us, it can seem too big to forgive. The pain we feel is too big. And what they've done seems way too serious for forgiveness. And yet, Jesus asks us to forgive.
And he's not asking us to do something which is completely unachievable, that you could never do. Instead, he's inviting us to partner with him in his work of reconciliation, reconciling relationships back to one another, and reconciling people back to God the Father. It's an opportunity for people to taste and experience the forgiveness that we receive at the cross of Jesus Christ when we believe that He died for us. And the reality is, it can be really hard to forgive sometimes. To forgive, we've got to be willing to let go of the debt that someone owes us. We have to trust that Jesus's death on that cross is enough to pay for what's owed. We have to forgive because we've been forgiven.
Jesus paid all our debts on the Cross
Acts chapter 10, and verse 43, says this,
Because when we believe in Jesus, we receive this amazing gift of forgiveness of sins. And we can think about sin as all those times when we choose to do things our way, instead of choosing to follow the teachings of Jesus. They're the times when we choose to put ourselves first, to do what's easy and convenient instead of doing what we know is right. When we choose to live for ourselves, instead of choosing to live for God.
But when we believe in Jesus, we are forgiven. We're freed from guilt, we're free from shame, and we no longer have to repay that debt. And all of that we receive by God's amazing grace. It isn't because we deserve forgiveness. It isn't because we've worked really hard to be good. It's not because we've paid the debt. It's always because He loves us. And pride is what stops us from forgiving others. And the Bible has something to say about that, too.
So in Matthew, chapter six, verses 14 and 15, it says this,
The Bible takes forgiveness very, very seriously. You see, when we don't forgive someone, it is because we want to hold on to the hurt. We want to remind ourselves of how bad they are, and how good we are in comparison. We want them to pay for the debt that they owe us. And it's a debt that Jesus has already paid on the cross.
The Bible teaches us that if we're like the servant in that story, we can't expect God to forgive us either. That's a pretty serious way of looking at the world, isn't it? That we're forgiven when we forgive. But when we don't forgive when we choose not to, God can't forgive us either. And we do need to remember that, of course, sometimes we do choose to forgive someone, but it can take time. When we're really hurt, it can be a journey, and that is okay. And Jesus understands that. What he asks us to do, is to keep choosing to forgive, to keep choosing to love, knowing not only that he has paid the price, but that his love is enough to heal the hurt that we feel.
What is Unforgiveness & How does it affect Us?
Have you ever heard the saying, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die?" Unforgiveness only hurts you in the end. It steals your joy, it steals your passion and leaves you bitter and cynical and unable to trust. None of us want to live that way, weighed down by unforgiveness. But when we do choose to forgive, it leads to freedom and it leads to life.
As I said, for lots of us, forgiveness is going to be a journey. It's a journey where we recognize the hurt and we realize that it actually can't be repaired or restored by the person that injured us. That we have to choose instead to trust in Jesus. Trust that he has paid the price with his life. We release the people who hurt us from the debt that they owe because Jesus has paid the debt and the sacrifice on the cross is enough.
When we forgive other people, we receive life and freedom. And we forgive because we are merciful, not because the other person deserves it. Because just like us, they don't. And they can't fix it. They can't repay us. They can't restore it. But God can, he does. And he will. We forgive because we've been forgiven so, so much.
How can we practice Forgiveness?
One of the ways that we can practice experiencing forgiveness is through repentance. When we go to Jesus and tell him that we're sorry for what we've done. But repentance is so much more than just saying sorry. That word actually means to change the way you think. Repentance is when we pay attention to what's happening around us, and why we feel the way we do. We explore it together with good friends that we can rely on and whom we trust, and we can be vulnerable with. Then we take what we've learned, and we choose to believe the truth that's in the Bible, instead of the lies we have been believing before. That's what true repentance looks like.
And when we repent, God always forgives us. He always forgives us, His forgiveness is utterly never-ending. And when we experience that type of forgiveness, forgiveness that we don't deserve, forgiveness that we couldn't possibly earn, when we experience that for ourselves, we can then give that same forgiveness to others, because we get to live in life and freedom. And for most of us, I think some things are pretty easy to forgive quickly. If somebody's rushing past you and treads on your toe, you're gonna forgive them quickly. And you'll probably have completely forgotten about it in a couple of hours. But other things hurt much, much deeper than that. And sometimes when we experience something hurtful, the impact of it remains with us for a long time.
What does the Bible say about forgiving but not forgetting?
The Bible does tell us we have to forgive but it doesn't say that we have to forget. And that is because sometimes the pain of an incident or the impact of it could be far-reaching. And there are times when we can learn from those experiences. It might be that the reason why we don't forget. Because it helps us to make better decisions about our relationships or the way we approach things in the future. There are times when remembering will keep us from further harm. And even when we want to reconcile a relationship where we've been hurt, we can forgive but we might not forget. We might instead be able to say to that person I forgive you. But I'm choosing to put in place better, healthier boundaries in our relationship because I want it to flourish and I want it to thrive.
The Murder of Anthony Walker
Many of you will know about Anthony Walker and his family. Anthony was killed in a racially motivated attack in Huyton in July 2005. And his mother Gee Walker chose to forgive the perpetrators of that crime before they were ever arrested, before they were ever convicted, and before they ever served a single day in prison. And the legacy of her choice has been so far-reaching.
She and her family set up the Anthony Walker Foundation in 2006 to promote anti-racism and educate and empower young people and support victims of racism and hate crimes. In the last five years, the foundation has worked with nearly 40,000 young people through education and outreach programs, and it's supported nearly 10,000 people who've been victims of hate crimes.
In November of 2021, the Anthony Walker Foundation partnered with the Crown Prosecution Service, and John Moores University to set up a new way of supporting law students from minority backgrounds that want to go into working in the law, particularly that want to work with victims of crime. The Walker family has not forgotten what happened to Antony, but they did choose to forgive. In a time when I think most of us really, really would have found that hard to do, they chose to forgive. And in doing so, they have built something beautiful out of something that was horrifically tragic. And they've been an inspiration to many of us, that even when it's tough, we can still forgive. But it doesn't mean that we have to forget.
The good news is that God the Father does forget about the things that we've done wrong. In Hebrews 10, verse 17, it says this,
When God forgives us, he chooses not to remember the things that we've done. He doesn't hold our mistakes over our heads. He doesn't treat us poorly because of the way that we have acted. He doesn't condemn us. He doesn't make us feel ashamed. He doesn't make us feel guilty. He treats us as if those mistakes, those choices never happened. He invites us to join his family, as his children, because He loves us. And we can be certain of God's love for us. Romans chapter five, verse five says,
Before we ever apologized for the things we've done, before we were even aware of them, Christ died for us. God loved us enough to forgive us before we even needed his forgiveness and before we were ever sorry. And He asks each of us to choose to forgive too.
CONVERSATION STREET
With: Sharon Edmundson & Rach Marshall.
What is Conversation Street?
Conversation Street is part of our live stream, where the hosts (in this case, Rach & Sharon) chat through Jennie’s talk and answer questions that were sent in through the live stream. To watch the conversation now, click here.
Rach Marshall - Hi, welcome back everyone that was fantastic to pray for Ukraine. We really appreciated that. So now we come to conversation Street, the bit where we get to chat.
So, forgiveness - it's a biggie, isn't it? It's one of those topics in the Bible, which is a big deal. And it's not nice and fluffy, or gooey, or soft, in any way. It's a powerful, powerful thing. And thank you to people that have shared their experiences of forgiveness. Matt did share it's difficult. Why should we? Why should I forgive? These are good questions.
And then Jenny did address this in her talk. But often it's as we chat, that we unpack those things. And God can get to the heart of the matter, and I think this is a head and a heart thing. And we want those parts of us to connect - the knowledge that we know is right to then impact our hearts. And I know, with my own experience of forgiveness that sometimes I've not wanted to. But as I have almost reached out in forgiveness through prayer, that God has done something to my heart.
Has it been easy for you to forgive?
Sharon Edmundson - I heard someone say once that forgiveness sounds like a great idea until you have something to forgive. It does sound lovely. Then yeah, it can be quite difficult to do. And I definitely relate to what you said about the head and the heart connection. Because I grew up in the church. I heard about forgiveness. It must have been like every week of my life, and I thought I understood it.
But it wasn't until years later when I moved up to Liverpool that I feel like God started to actually show me what it means. And I think before I'd kind of aspired to forgive. But it was just from my head, and not from my heart. And I think God showed me how you need to connect those and to connect with the pain of what's happened so that you can actually see. Not brush it under the carpet, but acknowledge what has gone on. And that was definitely a real turning point.
Rach - Yeah. And so as we're talking, if there's anything in particular that is churning around in you, we'd encourage you to acknowledge that, you can tell God about it. You can write it down, you can share it with a friend. And that's part of the process, to start to forgive, to acknowledge what you've been through.
Sharon - Matt's written in the comments, it's interesting how the Bible draws a parallel between forgiveness and debt. And again, this has been such a powerful concept for me, because if somebody owes you money, and you've got like a list of who owes you and how much they owe you and what for, you can then choose to let them off that debt if you want to, or you can choose to make them pay. But if you let them off the debt, you acknowledge what they owe you. And then you scrub it out from your records. And you say, I release you from that. You don't owe me anymore.
And for me, being able to literally write down, okay, this person owes me this - it might not be money. It might be that I feel owed respect or an opportunity, or whatever, and to say, okay, they owe me this respect or this opportunity, but actually, they can never pay it. So I'm gonna let them off that. And literally on paper, scrub it out. Once you've connected with how it makes you feel, and it's very concrete, I've let them off that debt. They don't pay me anymore. And that has been so key for me in actually finding freedom.
Rach - Yeah. And so were there any other things that stood out to you, Sharon?
Sharon - Yeah, Nicola also mentioned that sense of freedom that you get when you do forgive? Yeah, can be so hard leading up to that. But when you do actually let go of that debt that someone owes you? It's just amazing.
Have you ever experienced that freedom that comes from forgiving someone?
Rach - Yeah. I can resonate with that. I remember, a few years ago I sat at my kitchen table with a friend praying about something I needed to forgive. And it was almost like I didn't feel like it. I didn't. I knew in my head God wanted me to, and it was a good idea, it says in the Lord's Prayer Forgive us our sins as we forgive others. I felt like God, why have you made it? But it's when we know how much we've been forgiven, that we can then choose to extend that forgiveness to other people. But I remember praying, and literally, it had been hard to even get the words out. But once I had done it, I knew that it was done. And I think it's because it was so painful. And it mattered so much to me, and it was hard to do. But once I'd chosen to do it, and my friend was almost like a witness, then I knew that I'd forgiven them. And it was such a relief.
Sharon - I've got a similar experience. When I did move to Liverpool, it was like God showed me what forgiveness actually meant. And I realized that I had to do it. I was like, I don't want to. Because I realized that if I forgave these people, then I'd have to take responsibility for the way I was. And I'd lived my life blaming other people for the way that I was and I didn't want to take responsibility. I wanted to still be able to blame someone else and say it is their fault. And I think it took me several weeks before I got to the point where I could actually forgive. But gradually, with practice, it's become a lot easier.
Rach - Okay, that's interesting. Hopefully, that may be an encouragement just sharing our experiences.
For some people like Gee Walker to hear the story of her son being murdered, or for other people that have been through terrible abuse or hate crimes or other things, there can be some really big things, can't there?
Sharon - Some things are much harder to forgive than others. And I think it's probably worth mentioning a few things that forgiveness isn't as well. So Jenny mentioned that forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting. She also mentioned that it's not about waiting for the other person to say sorry, or only forgiving when you feel like it because I think we'd never forgive if we wait for that to happen. But there are a few other things worth mentioning. And I think forgiveness is not saying that what has happened is okay, I think the Bible is very much the opposite of that. And when we see Jesus dying for the things that we've done wrong, God's not saying, Oh, it's okay. Doesn't matter. He says this does matter. It's a big deal.
Rach - Can you think of an example?
I think sometimes people can hurt you and be quite intentional like they mean to hurt you. So God's not saying, Oh, it doesn't matter that they intended to hurt you.
Sharon - Yeah, actually, it does matter. But yeah I think we need to acknowledge that. It's also not pretending that it's not happened. Because again, we can try and just brush it away thinking, I've just got to forgive. So actually, it's not necessarily trusting that other person again.
Rach - What do you mean by that, then?
Sharon - Like if somebody is just being abusive, I think it's possible to forgive them for the abuse but also to recognize that they might not be a trustworthy person. We can still use wisdom about whom we can trust and whom we can't trust. And Jenny also mentioned that we can put boundaries in place. I think the Bible talks a lot about boundaries between things in the physical world, but also, emotionally and in the spiritual world. So it doesn't mean that you just let them carry on, you might need to put some distance between you and that person.
Rach - And do you think then God can do more in you and strengthen you and heal you so that you have got a chance or the ability to go, "No, I'm not going to be walked over or taken advantage of." And maybe bring other people around you to support you in that as well?
Sharon - I think it's also not good for the other person to be able to keep getting away with stuff that's wrong. Again, the Bible teaches us to confront each other about the stuff that we're doing wrong. Yeah, it's not good for them. It's not good for other people. So even from a sense of love, you have to go no, actually, that's not okay. And I'm not going to allow you to keep doing that.
Rach - Yeah. And that can take time, can't it to get to that point? And you definitely need people around? Just like to remind that if there's anything that you just think is tough, I need support, then please do reach out to us through our website and the team will pray, confidentially, because, we all want to get to a place of healing and restoration in God, this is part of it. This is God's best for us.
Sharon - We definitely need help from other people, I think especially like you say, the really tricky situations or if we've been acting a certain way our whole lives. I needed support from other people to put good boundaries in my life. You can't do it on your own. It's too difficult. So yeah, like Rach says, Do connect with us and we can try and put you in touch with people in your area. Help you do that if you're on your own.
Rach - Definitely. And I know I needed help to forgive. When I first heard about this, I needed someone to come alongside me, and keep reminding me that God loved me. And it was from that place that really helped me as well to know that, what went on in my life is important to God. And let's sort some of this stuff out.
Sharon - Yeah, I've got one last thing on what forgoveness isn't. I think forgiveness isn't doing away with justice. So you can still forgive somebody in your heart and release them from that but I think, for this person's good and the good of other people, we need to still maybe press charges or whatever and let the system in the country sort that out.
Rach - Yeah. And I think, again, justice is a big topic in the Bible. You know, our legal system is actually based on the 10 commandments, isn't it? I think it's fantastic. Justice really matters to God.
But there's a verse in the Bible that says, when we forgive someone, we're actually releasing that person to God's justice. So I think if you've been through something where you feel like there's been a massive injustice, God wants you to release that person, that situation to His justice, and for Him to have the say in that situation. And I think that is an amazing thing. Because God is merciful and just and I think they're both important. God is good. God is love, and we can release those people, that situation to His justice and trust Him.
Sharon - John posted a question.
Do we still need to say sorry every time that we sin? What do you say?
Rach - Knowing that God is relational and not just transactional. So it's about me spending time with God. And sometimes when I'm praying, I feel like the Holy Spirit will go, Oh, what about that? Or I read a verse in the Bible and I think, oh, yeah, God, sorry, I messed up, then it's through my relationship with God that I say, oh, Lord, I'm really sorry. I feel God's really specific. So general blurry Guilt is not from God. Specific. Oh Rach, your attitude there wasn't great. And I'm like, Yeah, Lord, you're right. I'm sorry, forgive me. I need to spend time with you. Please suffer my heart again, or help me with my attitudes.
So I think yes, say sorry to God, for things as he reveals them to you. Or if you read something in the Bible that your life isn't in line with, say you're sorry, which is repentance and ask God to help you to change. There are parts of my life and my character where I'm like, God, I need you to transform them. I can't do it in my own strength. I need your Holy Spirit to do that in my life. But the Bible talks about keeping short accounts, to keep a short one with God.
Sharon - I quite like the link that Jenny brought up to do with repentance. It's like, we would realize the seriousness of our sin when we receive forgiveness from God but sometimes trivialize our sin when it comes to us forgiving others for what they've done against us. I think when we've realized the importance of that, and how God's forgiven us, it does make it that much easier to pass that on to somebody else.
Rach - Yeah. And it's interesting because when we were praying for the Ukraine, and you think about what's going on there or in other wars and conflicts, all of these things come from the state of our hearts. The Bible actually talks about war and murders starting in our hearts. And I think what God's saying there is, what goes on in us matters to him. If we hate somebody, that matters to him. And he wants us to bring that to him. And obviously, I'm not saying that we're all gonna just start a war, of course not. But what goes on in our lives and in our souls really matters to Him and He wants to help us with that. He wants us to choose to do the right thing with His help.
Sharon - Yeah, I know that forgiveness has completely changed my perspective on how I feel. I can remember one person whom I struggled to forgive for a while, and before I could forgive them, all I could see was their faults like they're bad at this and this and so everything I thought about them was completely negative. And after I forgave them, it was like I was looking at a completely different person. It was like, well, actually, they're really good. And I can see this as positive and that's positive. So yeah, it was like, completely different glasses on.
Rach - I think that's a good analogy, you can view the world differently or the person or the situation. And that's amazing that God can do that, I guess.
What would the world be like without forgiveness?
Sharon - I have to think as well, I've been thinking about what would a world look like without forgiveness, if we can't receive forgiveness for ourselves, it's like you either have to then pretend that you didn't do anything wrong or you live with this sense of guilt all the time or you change what your definition of right and wrong is so that whatever you've done slips into that "this is okay" bracket.
And none of those are really workable, because if we're changing the standard of what is right and wrong, we're just going to be constantly changing it depending on how we are. And if everybody's doing that, that's not workable. But also living with that sense of guilt is not workable, because it's such a burden to work with.
But also just pretending that we've not done anything, or maybe just doing lots of good things to compensate and to try and say, Oh, I'm a good person, it still doesn't deal with that stuff that we've done. If we've hurt someone else, it still doesn't actually deal with that issue. So it's like, we need forgiveness. A world without it just doesn't work.
Rach - Well we just hope that this has helped. And that this has been an encouragement, and that we feel supported, in applying these truths to our lives. And we just pray that God helps us, as we're forgiven, to keep on forgiving others. Because that's when His kingdom can have a massive impact.
And there are loads of people in history that have applied these principles. Nelson Mandela, a classic example. Another godly woman, Corrie Ten Boom, survivor of the Holocaust, Google her, you'll be amazed at what you read about her and her life. Gee Walker, another one. People that have been through terrible, terrible things. And people who have been through everyday things like us as well.
Bible Verses About Forgiveness
Proverbs 17:9 - Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Luke 17:3-4 – Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,' you must forgive him.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.