Going deeper than coffee shop friendships and figuring out a better work life balance.
“They went on from there and walked through the region of Galilee. Jesus didn’t want the people to know he was there, because he wanted to teach his disciples in private. He said to them, “The Son of Man is destined to be betrayed and turned over to those who will execute him. But after three days he will rise again.” But the disciples didn’t have a clue what he meant and were too embarrassed to ask him to explain it.”
The 4 Key Areas
One of the things that jumped out at me about today’s passage was this idea of the Private Place. Jesus intentionally took his disciples to a private place. And this got me thinking about some of the places Jesus has been to recently:
The Mountain.
The Workplace.
The Road.
The Private Place.
The Mountain
This is something that we have seen in the last few weeks. Jesus, as He would often do, went up a mountain. This is a place where He encounters God and is ministered to in very real and significant ways. Quite often, he would go by himself.
The Workplace
This is where work and ministry happens. Martin took us through that last week, as the crowds gathered and the boy was healed. This is the very public face of what Jesus is doing.
And there are lots that can be said about those two places - but this week, I want to look at the other two: The Road and The Private Place.
The Road
I talked about this idea a few weeks ago - so let’s expand on it a little. One of the things to note here is that you are on the road with people - but predominantly, they are your core people, your inner circle if you like.
I really enjoyed looking at instances in Scripture where things happen on the road - and in the true spirit of alteration, let’s look at some of those:
DO
Whilst they were on the road they would get interrupted on their travels by folks seeking healing. On the way from the large crowds, Jesus would take the time to minister to the individuals…and there is a whole lot of good that I could get into right there. That idea alone is at the heart of the Gospel. Jesus loves the world, but He is also deeply personal. He loves you. It’s amazing stuff. Jesus ministers to the crowd, but He also ministers to the individuals. It's also important to remember that nterruptions would often happen on the road, just like in the workplace. They were busy places.
DEBRIEF
This is where the disciples would talk about what had happened in the workplace. They wanted to understand, maybe develop it out? They talk about life and the issues that they face together.
DEBATE
I love this - often the Bible uses the word, argue. We will see this in next week's scripture. What concerns me is that I think we have lost the art of debate and settled for keeping quiet, anything for an easy life. We avoid confrontation, especially with our friends and colleagues - which is why we often only ever have surface-level relationships. Fascinatingly - we see that in this verse:
“He said to them, “The Son of Man is destined to be betrayed and turned over to those who will execute him. But after three days he will rise again.” But the disciples didn’t have a clue what he meant and were too embarrassed to ask him to explain it.”
They didn’t mind arguing amongst themselves about stuff, but they were too embarrassed to ask Jesus about what he meant. Some translations use the word afraid. They were afraid to ask. Scared to ask. And the trouble is - this lack of clarity is a problem. This idea of debate is so important - it’s going to be the topic of this week’s Bitesize videos! So make sure you like our FB page, subscribe to YouTube or follow us on IG to get those teachings
DEDICATE
It was often on the road that people would decide to follow Christ, the most famous being Paul on the road to Damascus. He is a man hell-bent on destroying Christianity, but it is on the road that He meets Jesus and His life is changed. And if we are on the road with friends, good friends who we can not only debrief with about life but friends that we can debate with that will help us on our dedication to Christ, then we have moved deeper than Coffee Shop Friendships.
The Coffee Shop. The Small Group. The Teams in the office - these are all modern-day roads. They are places that we are with our core, our inner circle. We meet in the coffee shop, we catch up with friends - and debrief. We are often interrupted, either by others or by our phones. And so, at best, we create a lot of surface-level friendships as a result.
Each one of those places I think is the same as the Road, times where you are with a few people, your core group of people. They are great times, fun times, important times. But what I see are times where people haven’t realised that they need to take it from the Road to the Private Place.
The Private Place
Jesus didn’t want the people to know he was there, because he wanted to teach his disciples in private. In other words - he wanted to escape the interruptions that came from well-meaning people that needed his help. Jesus is intentional about getting away. He realised that he needed to take it from the road to the Private Place.
And this, for me is the key, to going deeper than Coffee Shop Friendships, as well as building a better work-life balance.
Whenever you mention to me the idea of the private place, I get a picture in my head of what that means, as I am sure you do too. And in that picture, I will be in a certain location but it will just be me. You have the same idea, right? A Private Place is a place of solitude. You are there, and no one else. But notice in this passage - they are together in a private place.
This is actually a place we go with our core people, our inner circle. It’s not a place of solitude. These are the same core people that we do work, life, and ministry with. These are the same people we do, debrief, debate, and dedicate with on the road. It’s just we’ve recognised when we need to take it from the Road to the Private Place.
Here’s an interesting verse from Mark 6. It’s just before the feeding of the 5,000.
“The apostles returned from their mission and gathered around Jesus and told him everything they had done and taught. There was such a swirl of activity around Jesus, with so many people coming and going, that they were unable to even eat a meal. So Jesus said to his disciples, “Come, let’s take a break and find a secluded place where you can rest a while.””
So they did. They took a break together, in the Private Place. Jesus recognised the need to get away from the hustle, the bustle, and the interruptions.
In the Private Place they still debrief. They still debate. But because this is an interruption-free zone with people that you can be truly vulnerable with, that debate is used to learn to develop.
Last week we saw that it wasn’t until the disciples got in to the private place that Jesus could reveal to them the spiritual principles they needed to effectively minister to the child. Do you remember, the disciples couldn’t help the boy and Jesus told them it could only come out by prayer and fasting. He told them that in the private place. Had they not have gone there, they may not have learned that principle.
So life is full of interruptions. It is part of life. So my prayer is Lord help me to learn when to take situations from the road to the private place.
How many of you have checked your phone or been interrupted by something during this broadcast? It’s not a bad thing. Interruptions happen. But you also know that you don’t get as much out of church, you don’t seem to connect with God as much when you are interrupted.
This is not rocket science, I appreciate - but it is good to go over the fundamental principles again! I need a reminder more than anyone let me tell you!
For example, at work - we have regular meetings…these are the road. But if I take the folks away to Jersey, the time we have together is very different. We can go to the local Starbucks and we have better meetings as we are away from the office interruptions. But if we go next door to Nandos, I’ve noticed we have much better time together as a team. Why? Because our mobile phones don’t work in Nandos. No interruptions.
This idea also carries through into our private lives - there should be private places where we look to cut out interruptions. The diner table for example - we try not to have phones here, but honestly - I’ve been a bit lax on this recently. I need to change here.
Challenge One
Create different places, different zones in life, where you have different levels of interruption.
Challenge Two
Be intentional about creating those spaces. This is part of leadership. So as a leader at work, I have to create them. But also as a parent, I have to create them at home.
Sharon is great at this - ensuring that we all do breakfast together and where possible, we also eat dinner together. Get rid of the interruptions, and these are precious times. But they don’t just happen. We have to be intentional about creating them.
I have a couple of great friends in London. So I have to intentionally create these spaces. Sometimes, they are on the phone. I try to regularly jump on a train and meet up and we intentionally hang out for the day. We pause and rest up. It’s important for relationships that this happens. We have to go deeper than just the coffee shop or the road.
Sharon and I are intentional in having a date night every week. We schedule it and create that private space. It’s important for our marriage, and one of those things that we would tell every couple to do.
You know if you are part of the team at work, and it all feels stressful and busy - then part of creating a better work-life balance might not be finishing at 5 pm as per your contract. Sure it might be, but it might be that you need to intentionally create a private place. Maybe get your teammates around to your house, have a meal, play a game, and spend some time thinking about an issue that you have as you don’t get the time to do it in the office with all the interruptions that happen.
Sure it is good to hang out, but don’t be afraid to structure the time, and talk about stuff and take the opportunity to learn. Amazing things will happen when you do.
Challenge Three
When you're with your core in the private place, face the hard difficult issues, but look for the opportunity in them.
What do I mean here? Well, this is what we see in today’s passage:
He said to them, “The Son of Man is destined to be betrayed and turned over to those who will execute him. But after three days he will rise again.”
— Mark 9:31
These are hard things that Jesus is saying. These are complex things. These aren’t things that the disciples are expecting. They have different ideas about the future, and what it should look like and how it should go.
But Jesus revealed stuff to them that was hard.
And in your private place, when you close off the interruptions, you can feel safe, you can be vulnerable, talk about the hard stuff, the difficult stuff, and the challenging stuff. It’s the stuff that maybe you don’t want to hear but you trust the person telling you.
When was the last time you had one of these types of conversations? They are important. Really important.
Why would he do that?
What Jesus is telling them is that he is going to be betrayed and executed. That's really really hard. Why would He do that? What would you think knowing that was going to happen to you?
Why would Jesus do that? It’s insane to me that He would know this, and He would still go on with it. There is a wonderful verse in Hebrews that gives us some great insight into this…
“…Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!”
Jesus knew He had to endure the agony of the cross. He knew He had to conquer its humiliation. He had to take our place. He took your sin, and my sin - the sin of all the world, in all it’s history and died. The very source of life died because of our shame and guilt. And He did it knowingly.
And the reason He did it - He focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his. He did it because of His love for you and me.
Can you imagine the source of life, the creator of worlds, God himself coming down, ministering to crowds of people, journeying with us on the road, listening to our debates, being intentional in teaching us, giving us times of rest and learning - getting involved with us on a very personal level - and calling that joy? You are I are His joy! That’s why he went through it.
He is talking to the disciples knowing what is going to come, what is going to happen, and did it anyway. That’s the Gospel.
And the things I love about this - he ends this revelation that is not great with great news:
“He said to them, “The Son of Man is destined to be betrayed and turned over to those who will execute him. But after three days he will rise again.””
But after three days he will rise again. That’s the opportunity in the nightmare. Jesus being executed is the opposite of what everyone deems success to be, but in it, in the bad news, the nightmare, Jesus also reveals the Good News.
I am going to conquer the grave. I am going to defeat death so that you can all live. You might not get this now, but trust me, there is a time when you will. It’s coming. The disciples didn’t understand it then. But they would.
It’s amazing how all of this comes from just a few short verses in the Gospel of Mark, isn’t it? I hope you have got something out of this?
3 Questions to think through
Where can you intentionally create different interruption zones in life?
What friend / folks do you need to take to a Private Place?
Where’s the opportunity in the hard issues you face?