Why and How do I Pray? Alpha Course 05
Video of the complete Livestream where Matt asks, “Why and How do I Pray?”
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Talk: Why and How do I Pray?
According to the copious amounts of research, many of us do pray. Even those who don't have faith, especially in a crisis. Like COVID, for example. Prayer is normal for a lot of people. And the first time I remember praying, I wouldn't have called myself a Christian at all. I didn't have that faith.
The Australian soap opera Neighbours had so many of us hooked in the 1980s. It included a very young Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, Hollywood superstar Guy Pearce, and Alan Dale, who had also been in many Hollywood movies. But there was also a couple called Des and Daphne, and they were the cutest kind of couple. But in the story, Daphne ends up in a coma at the hospital. And I remember this scene very clearly where Des is sat there in the hospital. And Daphne, his wife, is in this coma. So Des did what most people do at that point. He prayed. Now, I don't remember what he prayed as much as how he started and ended his prayer. He started it by saying something like, "G'day God. It's Des here." He prays for his wife. And then he ends it with, "Oh, yeah. Amen."
My first prayer
Now, this had a significant impact on me because, at that time, I was doing my GCSEs. And I prayed that night using the same formula that Des had used. I remember lying there in my bed. And I started praying, I said, "G'day, God, it's Matt." And I still did it in my dodgy Australian accent. And I ended the prayer the same way too. I don't know why I did it. I just did it. But what about you? Do you remember the first time you ever prayed? And have you ever asked yourself - What is prayer?
What is prayer?
Sherlon, a friend of mine, prays a lot. And actually, I'd call him a man of prayer. And he thinks that prayer is about communication.
Prayer is about communication. It's about talking to God and God talking back to you. It's about a relationship. So when I pray, I pray because I want to talk to God. I pray because I need God's help in my life.
And it's not just Sherlon that thinks this way, either. Charlotte, a community nurse, also tells us that prayer is communication. And this, for me, is a fascinating point.
When I was growing up, people would say, let's pray. And they would often say, hands together, and eyes closed. And then there would follow a long period of silence, and nothing was happening, where I used to probably sneak a look and see what was going on around. And truth be told, I just thought this was incredibly boring. I cannot believe why anybody would want to spend hours in this activity. It seemed boring to me. But as I've got to know Jesus better over the years, since I chose to follow him, I have discovered that following Jesus and being Jesus's friend is all about daily communication and a daily conversation with him. And that, for me, is what prayer is.
Last week, I talked about being married to Sharon, my amazing, beautiful wife. And I used it as an analogy to describe my relationship with God. Imagine if Sharon and I had been married for 23 years but never really spoke to each other. We never actually communicated. What kind of marriage would that be? Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this would not be a great marriage. And it's the same for our relationship with God. It's stronger and deeper if we communicate with Him.
But is all that communication just one way? Is it just me talking to God? Here’s Sherlon again:
Sometimes when I pray, I might pray about needs that I have, or needs that other people have. I pray because I want God's help in my life and my friends, family, and the people I care about. Prayer is a relationship. And so when I pray, I talk to God, and he talks back to me. I guess that's the main reason why I pray. Because of relationship. And when you're in a relationship with someone, you talk to them, and they talk back to you.
— Sherlon
So for Sherlon, prayer is not just one way. He feels that God communicates back to him. How cool is that? So prayer is two-way communication with God. Just like my marriage is two-way communication with my wife and back to me. So it is in our relationship with God.
Why pray?
Are there other reasons why we would pray to God? Here's what Chris has to say…
I pray because prayer works. Time and time again, I've seen prayer work. Just recently, we were expecting the arrival of our son Rex who's now born. And leading up to his birth, we realised that we didn't have enough car seats in our car, and we didn't know what to do. And so my wife and I decided we were going to pray and trust God. And we couldn't afford a larger car. We didn't have the money for that.
And as we prayed and trusted God, we just felt assured that God was going to answer our prayer. And sure enough, shortly after our son's arrival, someone contacted us out of the blue and told us that they wanted to give us a gift. And it was enough money to be able to buy an eight-seater car, which is what we needed to fit our whole family.
So for Chris, he prays for the communication, but he also prays because prayer works. And for Christians all over the world, we have similar stories about how God has answered our prayers. Even my Des and Daphne prayer was answered! And this is why every week, we encourage you to get in touch with us via WhatsApp number if there's anything you would like us to pray for. We believe that God answers prayer.
Does God answer all prayers?
Does God always answer our prayers in the way that we think he should answer them? And to our timeframes? The answer is "no". He doesn't. I was always told that God answers prayer in three ways - with a yes, a no, or a not yet! It may be theologically simplistic, but it's a good starting point.
Now, I'm a dad to three fabulous kids. And I don't always say yes to everything they ask for because I can perhaps see things or understand things they don't. And if I can do that with my kids, how much more does God do it for us, especially when he knows the end from the beginning? So even if we don't get the answer we think we should get, remember that God is still interested in you. He's still interested in your prayers. He’s interested in your life, and you can still trust him because he has a good plan for you. So prayer is about communication, two-way communication. But it's also about getting God involved with our lives.
Biblical framework for prayer
Now, Paul wrote this to the Philippian church almost 2000 years ago. It's recorded in the Bible in a book called Philippians, and it says,
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Isn't that interesting? There is a very definite link between being anxious and prayer. Prayer can help us with our anxieties, which is a pretty important point. Here's what Al has to say about it.
I remember hearing that worrying is like praying for something you don't want. And that made me reflect on how I think. And if I worry, what do I do with that worry. Prayer is a reflection on everything that we do, and I always feel it's good to see the positive because that moment of reflection is where the prayer makes a difference.
That's good stuff. Worrying is like praying for something you don't want, and what do we do with that worry. Brilliant. So looking at what Paul wrote in this verse a bit deeper gives us a simple framework on how to talk to God. Paul tells us to bring to God three things: our prayers, supplications, and thanksgiving. For me, a straightforward prayer framework, super helpful. Just three simple things. Pray, supplicate or request and thank.
So the first one, prayer, is about communication. So for me, prayer is about starting off opening my heart to God, telling him my thoughts, my concerns, what's going on, any anxieties I have. I'm just being honest with God. Yes, he knows. He's God. But it still helps me to tell him. And it's not just me, too.
Prayer is simply a conversation with God. So you can pray anywhere and about anything. But what I love to do is, make sure that my prayers are personal and directed to Jesus. So I pray in Jesus's name using everyday language. There's no need to use fancy or religious language. And it's okay, to be honest with God.
- Chris
So we must be honest with God in our prayers. But don't just leave it there. Prayer's more than that. So we've got to bring in our supplication, requests or asks, right? Here is where you ask God to get involved. You aren't just telling Him what's going on. You're asking Him to get involved, change things, and do something different, something supernatural. Here's Charlotte's story.
Almost every morning, I will say Good morning, Jesus. Good morning, God. And then I take God with me where I go. So literally, sometimes I feel like I've got Jesus in my passenger seat, and I'm talking to him as I'm driving. You'll be pleased to hear I do keep my eyes open. But it's a conversation where I share stuff and ask for advice. And I listen, communicate, and thank Him. Prayer makes up so much of our conversation with God.
The other time I use for prayer is when I exercise. I'm a very visual person. And it's been so helpful that when I go walking or do some exercise, I will make that a specific time for praying about certain things. So if I'm walking, I think, okay, for this next mile, I'm going to pray and talk to God about this subject, or this particular person or situation. And I keep going, and think, for this next mile, I'm going to listen, I'm going to be quiet, which those of you who know me is not always that easy. But actually, I want to hear what God is saying to me. And then I can reflect on that and then pray and thank Him for His goodness in my life.
- Charlotte
Did you notice what she said? She thanks him for his goodness in her life. And that's the third step Paul talks about. Pray, ask and bring your thanksgiving, thank him, develop gratitude in our souls, and have that gratitude attitude. And for me, these three things that Paul talks about are a simple model of prayer and how we speak to God. We can tell God what's going on. We can invite him in and ask him to get involved. But then we thank him for all that he is doing and all that he has done. And there's a huge benefit when we do this. The very next verse says,
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Prayer can calm our anxiety, and the peace of God can guard our hearts and our minds. Maybe we could put it this way. Praying people seem to be peaceful people.
I would encourage you to make prayer part of your daily routine; whatever it is, you do. And for whatever season of life you might be in, I have grown up children who've grown and flown now, so I don't have small children, but if you've got small children, you need to find a different way, because your life will have a different pace and a different rhythm.
- Charlotte
So I pray all the time. I don't necessarily pray well. But I pray, reflect, and allow my heart to connect with my head, and vice versa. So that's how I pray.
- Al
You can pray in lots of ways. What I tend to do is I like to get quiet. I want to find some time; I might light a couple of candles and tell God what's going on in my life. And then I'll open my Bible and listen to what He says. There are lots of ways that we can pray. Finding the time and a quiet space is good. But sometimes we don't have that. So then you can just tell God what's going on in your lives. Though, it is essential to take time to listen to God.
- Sherlon
What seems important here is not an exact formula or methodology but rather honesty, openness, gratitude, and faith. Prayer is about communication. It is about changing the world. And it is something that we can do any place, any time, to a God that cares for us and has made it possible for us to talk with him, to communicate with him. Prayer then is simply miraculous!
CONVERSATION STREET
Questions we ask this week
Conversation Street is part of our live stream, where the hosts (in this case, Matt & Sal) chat through Matt’s talk and answer questions that were sent in through the live stream. You can watch the conversation in the video, it starts at 41 min 57 seconds into the live stream, or you can go straight there by clicking the button below. This week’s questions and topics of conversation are:
Do you remember a time that God answered your prayer?
Do you have a set time for prayer or is it something you do perpetually throughout the day?
What are some of the different ways that you can pray?
Do you journal?
Does prayer really help with anxiety?
