27: Faith In The Darkness
Today’s Guest: Becky Carr
Becky Carr is a Brit living in the USA with her husband Jared and 2 littles, Gabe (8) & Ayla (5). She attends the Mile High Vineyard church near Denver and is an elder there. She also works for Vineyard USA as the Executive Assistant to the National Director. She is a recent breast cancer survivor, enthusiastic tea drinker, and loves to snowboard and hike in Colorado’s Rocky Mountains where she calls home.
Here’s a summary of this week’s story:
Becky grew up in a Christian family and had experiences with God, but it was during her gap year with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) that she had a personal encounter with him. She later pursued a degree in theology and married her husband Jared soon after. They then moved to the US and made a life there.
Becky was diagnosed with breast cancer at 33, which was shocking as it is not common for women to get it at such a young age. She had to undergo a mastectomy and breast reconstruction. However, three months later, she was rediagnosed with a different type of breast cancer that was very aggressive and had never before been treated. She had to undergo chemotherapy and radiation for almost a year.
She talks about the intense challenges she faced during her breast cancer treatment, including missing her son's first day of school due to surgery and caring for her son during a medical emergency while undergoing her own treatment.
Becky found support and comfort from her church community during her battle with breast cancer. She struggled with disappointment and anger towards God, but eventually found hope and peace in his presence and the belief that he walked with her through her struggles.
She learned to value God's presence and promise to be with her through difficult times rather than just seeking a specific outcome or reward. She realized that the reward is ultimately Him, and that she needed an internal renewal more than an external healing.
She found clarity and focused on her values and priorities after going through cancer, making significant changes in her life, including creating margin and focusing on what matters to her, and making the most of the time she has now.
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And now without further ado, let's meet your host and our very special guest for today.
Anna: Hello and welcome to What's the Story. My name is Anna Kettle . Today I'm joined by Becky Carr. Now Becky is a Brit living in the USA with her husband Jared and two littles. Gabe, who's eight and Ayla, who's five. She attends the Mile High Vineyard Church, which is in the Denver area, and is an elder there also.
She also works with Vineyard USA as executive assistant and the national director, and she's recent breast cancer survivor, a tea enthusiast and loves to snowboard and hike in Colorado's Rocky Mountains where she calls home. One important detail that I should also add to that bio, um, which you may not know, is that Becky is my younger sister.
So yeah, if we sound like we know each other well or that you see some family similarities today, then that's why. So Becky, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm really excited to have you on the show. Welcome.
Becky: Thank you. I'm glad to be with you.
Anna: So I guess we should probably start at the beginning really shouldn't we, of your story. Um, and I know we're gonna kind of unpack a bit of your cancer journey cuz you know, you had cancer very young, you're a lot younger than me. And, um, yeah. But I suppose we should start at the beginning and talk first about kind of your background so people can get a feel for kind of where you've come from.
So, Obviously you grew up in a Christian family. Our dad was a church leader for entire childhood, so obviously you were always raised kind of knowing about God raised to believe in God, but I just wondered, I guess at what point in your sort of faith journey did it really start to become something personal to you?
Like how did that evolve?
Becky: Yeah, so, um, yeah, pastor's kid. Uh, very cushy childhood, I'd say. Like, very safe Christian bubble. We had, you know, Christian school and, um, yeah, just, just a great childhood, honestly. Um, and yeah, I grew up always knowing about God and having different experiences with him. Um, but I think it was really as I finished, uh, secondary school and my A levels and I went to do a year out with YWAM Youth With A Mission, um, I did their Discipleship Training School, um, as my gap year.
And I think it was really there that I, for the first time, like experienced God in a more personal way, um, that was more than just like something I'd been told or had knowledge and it really became something that I wanted to interact with personally and I wanted to interact with Jesus. And, um, ended up my one gap year ended up becoming two gap years.
I met my husband while I was there. Um, so we were still dating and, um, Yeah, traveled all over the world leading different short-term missions trips and just seeing amazing things, um, miracles and, um, yeah, just had all kinds of amazing experiences. Um, after my second gap year, I decided instead of I was due to go to Sheffield University to do biblical studies, um, in their department there, and I actually ended up changing to.
London School of Theology where I did my undergraduate degree, um, there, cause I really wanted to study the Bible but more in a Christian context. Um, so I decided that LST would be a better fit for me. So went, did my undergraduate degree in theology and then, um, Married Jared about three weeks after graduating.
Anna: Three weeks
Becky: yeah, it was a little bit stressful that time of my life. Finals, dissertations, and then planning a marriage.
Anna: Oh, I should say our whole childhood, Becky has never been someone who does things by halves, she's like, when she decides to do something, it's like all in.
Becky: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Anna: obviously after married, moving to America at like 23, 24,
Becky: Mm-hmm. Yep.
Anna: College and new, newly married really weren't you. And then quite soon after that you, you moved over to the states, which is where Jared was from, to Midwest.
Becky: Yep.
Anna: Um, that must have felt like a big leap of faith for you because you were quite young and you didn't really know what you were sort of stepping into. Um, was it scary or exciting or a bit of both? Like how was that?
Becky: I honestly don't even know what I was thinking. When I look back, I'm like, I don't even know why, how or why it happened. Um, the plan was always, yeah, Jared's from Colorado originally, his family's all still here, so our plan was always to just come for a year or two for me to get to know his family and his culture, and.
The plan was always to move back to the UK and then I think Jared secretly knew if he got me here that I'd probably not wanna leave, which was definitely true. Um, but we arrived with, we had six suitcases between the two of us, and that was it. All of our worldly possessions, we moved via airplane. Six cases.
We had like $200 in our bank account. That's not even an exaggeration. Like if we were penniless, just like ready to move to America and start and just see what happened. And, um, just ended up loving it here. We found a really great church at the Mile High Vineyard and, um, those people kind of just became family to us and we just felt so connected and, um, like we could see a life for us here.
So we just stayed. And here we are 13 years later.
Anna: Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, two children onwards, so
Becky: Aha. Yes.
Anna: a long way, but, um, yeah, we're, we're, I'm not too, uh, bitter about Jared for taking my sister away anymore, but, you know,
Becky: Yeah.
Anna: um, I, I don't blame you though the weather in, in, uh, your bit of the world is far nicer than it is here, so that alone you know, be fair. And it's a beautiful part of the world. Denver
Becky: Mm-hmm. It is gorgeous. Lots of sunshine, rocky mountains skiing. Great outdoor life, so I can't complain either.
Anna: Yeah. Now before people think it's all been easy, cuz you know, you talk about a lovely childhood and a lovely place where you live, but you have had some real challenges haven't you, over the past few years. And obviously we, we touch on it before getting diagnosed with breast cancer at just age 33, which is shockingly young.
Like normally when people think of breast cancer, they think of women over 50.
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Anna: And so that's unusual in itself, and it was just after you'd had your second child, your daughter, Ayla. So can you, you tell us a little bit about that experience? Like how did you discover you had cancer? How did things begin to unfold?
Becky: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, um, it was summer of 2019, so I was 33 at the time, like you said. Um, I literally woke up one morning and I found a lump the size of a pack of cards, um, just sitting on top of my breast. It was literally 10 centimeters wide. Um, I. When didn't go to the doctors immediately, thankfully my husband Jared, persuaded me that I should probably get it checked out.
I, at the time had a four-year-old and a 15 month old, so I'd recently finished breastfeeding. Um, a little girl, Ayla. Um, and, uh, The doctors all kind of said, this is nothing, there's no family history of cancer. Like, there's just no way this is cancer, but we'll do a due diligence and get it checked out.
And, um, yeah. Shockingly it came back as cancer. Um, at that point it was a stage zero cancer, which if you're gonna get cancer, that's the one you want. Um, it was considered non-invasive. Um, at this point, it, um, It actually wasn't a tumor in the same sense, but they found, uh, breast cancer cells all the way through the lining of my milk ducks.
Um, so I had cancer throughout my whole breast. Um, the, the kind of pack of card lump that I had seen was just literally my body reacting to this cancer. Um, but it wasn't a traditional tumor. Um, so they told me the, uh, I needed surgery. I had to have a mastectomy. Um, The good news was I didn't need chemo or radiation that a mastectomy would deal with it, because at that point it was non-invasive.
Um, and then I knew I could have breast reconstruction. So that first year was really, um, just going through, I mean, it was shocking and terrifying, but they had said it was quite early. Most women have a mastectomy. They never think about this ever again. Like, I could just move on with my life. So really that first year I was kind of focused on the breast reconstruction.
It was about four surgeries over seven months. They used my own body tissues to rebuild my breast. So it was a little more intensive than other types of reconstruction. Um, but I knew in my head like this was gonna be it and I could just move on with my life once I'd done these surgeries. So that took me to like March of 2020.
Um, Literally, my last reconstruction surgery was the day before the world closed down for Covid. Um, so they stopped all elective surgeries like that literally the next day. So I was like, sweet, this is God's provision. Like I just got in my, my last surgery and now I just can like, Hunker down during covid and focus on getting better and what, you know, we're, done.
This, this story's finished. Um, about three months after that though I was rediagnosed. So, um, in a very rare change of events. Um, the cancer had come back in the same breast, so, um, it had aggressively mutated, um, it was appearing as a skin cancer. So I actually went to my dermatologist just to think it was some weird little skin thing, and it came back as, uh, breast cancer.
This time it was a completely different type of breast cancer. It was. Uh, graded, very aggressive. Um, it had mutated, and honestly, they said they had never seen this type of cancer before this type of mutation. Um, so they said they didn't know how to treat it really. They had never treated this before. It didn't exist in the medical world.
Um, so they just said, we're gonna throw everything at it that we can. Um, And see if that works. Um, so that was pretty crushing. Um, having thought like, you know, I'd done all this reconstruction I had been through this last year. I'd come out the end feeling like I could move on with my life and then it was just like another kick.
And um, this time they said, you know, I'd have to do chemo and radiation. Um, so I went back for more surgery. And then pretty quickly they turned around and said I needed to do a year just shy of a year of chemotherapy. So I had, uh, infusions every three weeks, um, for 14 rounds and then a month of, uh, pretty intense radiation.
Um, so yeah, it was just like my world kind of crumbled again at that point, um, realizing that I was very far from this journey being over and that there was still a year, full year of treatment ahead of me. Um, Yeah. So.
Anna: Yeah, I mean that's a horrible, like false ending, isn't it? And then, and it's a lot to navigate, right? Because you're dealing with, suddenly you're dealing with like facing a really quite grueling chemo schedule. Like over a whole year. And you've also still got really young kids at home who don't really understand and you know, and suddenly they're saying, this is the kind of cancer that we're not so sure about and we don't know what we're doing with, and I mean, that must be scary.
And you know, suddenly not knowing for certain. You know, from thinking, oh yeah, I've dealt with it, uh, suddenly thinking, I don't know if I'm gonna make it through this. Like, they don't know what they're doing with this cancer. And, you know, there's so many things about that situation, which I'm sure are just incredibly hard.
But is there any sort of times in that, that stand out as, or anything that stands out as particularly challenging? Like what? What was it? Was it the, the shock of feeling like the dis the kind of disappointment of like, oh, we thought we were done and we're not. Like, were there other times that kind of stick out as being really hard or.
Becky: Yeah, I think, um, I mean a particular moment was Gabe was now five. He, uh, his first day of kindergarten, I couldn't take him to his first day of school because I was driving to the hospital to get my chemo port fitted. So I was going off for surgery to start this treacherous thing and he was like, going to school to start this.
And I just remember having that moment of like, I don't know, I'm gonna see my kids grow up. Like, I don't know. I'm gonna see my forties. Never mind my kid graduate high school or, um, so I remember that just being a really poignant day at the very beginning of that treatment. Um, then about three weeks into, um, my treatment starting, Gabe ended up in the emergency room.
Um, he had a ruptured appendix, so we woke up one night to him, uh, throwing up blood in his sleep and we rushed him to the emergency room and um, they discovered he had a ruptured appendix with a severe, severe infection throughout his whole abdomen. Um, at this point I think I'd done one round of chemo.
I'd done about a week of radiation, and then he was admitted to hospital for about two weeks, right in the middle of that four week window of radiation. And we were living at the hospital with him. Remember, this is like in the middle of Covid still, so it was like, No visitors allowed, like only Jared or I could like trade off in the room.
It was like testing every day in masks. And his sister couldn't come to the ho, come inside even the lobby of the hospital. Like she had to stay outside the building if, you know, she, we needed to hand her off and just total, total, uh, logistical nightmare. But I was, you know, sleeping on the couch in his hospital room watching him.
On drip morphine trying to recover from this horrific infection that was all through his belly. He was in excruciating pain every day. Um, and then I would wake up, walk across the car park to the university hospital where I was getting treatment. I'd go get a round of chemo or another dose of radiation, walk back across the car park, and I'd be back in his hos hospital room and.
That went on for just about two weeks, um, every day, like back and forth between these two hospitals while he was laying in bed. Um, So, yeah, that was like a really concentrated, like I was going through my own treatment and I was struggling with wondering if it was gonna work and if this was the right treatment to save my life, was I gonna die?
And then I was watching my kid hooked up to a machine trying to recover from a emergency surgery and doctors trying to figure out how to treat this horrible infection he had all through his abdomen. And, um, yeah, just a really low, low time. Um, Yeah, that was probably the most intense part.
Anna: Yeah, I, I can imagine. I mean, that's, uh, it's just so much to deal with at once, isn't it? I mean, logistically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way. Um, I suppose I'm interested to know though, Like where, or perhaps how, um, how you, you saw or experienced God in the midst of that situation. Like, did you see God at work in those times too?
Like how did you experience him or find him in those moments, which were really dark as you say.
Becky: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I think those first few weeks we were definitely just in survival mode. Like you're not really even. You're just kind of floating around above yourself, like just responding to things coming at you. Um, but yeah, I think, I mean, we, like I said before, we just had an amazing community around us, so our church just.
People rallied around us in the most incredible way. Um, so like externally, I felt very cared for and, um, held together by them. They came and, you know, helped with childcare for Ayla and Jared and I were at the hospital. They brought, women came and like cleaned my house for me and folded my kids' laundry cuz I, I mean, I couldn't.
Physically do a lot of things still. I was fresh out of surgery doing, you know, sick from chemo, all these things, and you know, women would come and just take care of groceries or cleaning my house, doing laundry, um, bringing meals, like we had so many meals and, um, like just l physically held by the people of God, um, which I'm just so, so grateful for still.
Um, so we had amazing community. Um, but then internally I still had this like, struggle of like, you know, I was very disappointed with how life had turned out. I was pretty angry at God, I think at this point. Like, um, yeah, just dealing with like the more spiritual, emotional side, um, took some time and I, I'm not even sure.
It was a quick resolution for me. I think it's, you know, been as years have passed that I've processed some of that still. Um, I think initially, like I really, I kind of had this idea that God was supposed to save us. Like he was supposed to show up in a certain way in these times, and he was supposed to just like, remove us from this pain and suffering and like, why God would you let.
These things happen? Like not just one of these things, but like these layers of difficulty and pain and disappointment. And I think I came to the realization, like I'd always thought of God as, um, kind of like, yeah, a genie in a bottle. Like I could, if I just say the right Prayer and wish the right wish, like he would, he should do this thing for me.
Like He should give me what I'm asking for. And in return I would, you know, spread his word and tell everybody that he healed me and tell him, tell of his miracles. And everybody would come to him. And that was like the deal I had with him. And
Anna: be like the poster girl for Jesus.
Becky: right. I would tell everybody, like, see what he did? You wanna believe in him. Like this was a good deal for God, I thought. Um, and it just didn't happen that way. And so then you're left with like, now what do I do? I kind of had two roads of either I can choose this road of bitterness and anger and, um, rejecting God and blaming him for it, which just didn't seem to go anywhere.
Like, I wouldn't say I never went down that road, but it just never felt like there was any light at the end of that tunnel. It was just darkness and more darkness like I. I didn't wanna stay there. So then I had to choose like, was I going to, you know, um, try and reframe some of my thoughts about who he is and what I expected from him.
And so I think I really, um, yeah, I had to wrestle with some of that internally of who is God in the midst of this and, um, yeah, that he's not just there to, to give me what I want and take away my pain, but he. I believe he steps in and he actually like walks with us and he can give us peace in the midst of those, um, intense crazy moments.
And, um, he can actually walk us through it. And there's a thing of hope in there that, you know, that this isn't the end. And that, um, yeah, that my hope in God is honestly what kind of pulled us through that time.
Anna: Hmm. It's, it's interesting isn't it? Because I mean, certainly when, you know, in times when I've been through difficult things as well, I know that it's really, I can really relate to what you're saying cuz I've been like, well you could become very bitter and angry, but also like, it's, it's caused me to sort of change how I saw God a bit too.
And, and I really relate to what you're saying cuz it's like actually the thing that, um, I sort of became a realization to me, and it kind of really rings true with what you were saying, is that like, actually Jesus said to his disciples, didn't he, that in this world you'll face trouble? He didn't say, you're gonna have an easy life, or I'll dig you out of every problem that you have.
He says, you will face trouble, but. You know, I will be with you in it. And that's really what he promises. You know, he promises his Holy Spirit to be with them. And, um, and you see that in the early church, don't you? And, and with those disciples, after Jesus' death, crucifixion or resurrection, and it's like, Yeah, it, it's like they don't have an easy life and I don't quite know where this kind of modern western Christian world view, we kind of quite often grow up with, um, comes from, but it's not really biblical and that was something that kind of really.
I had to really address as well. So I, I totally relate to that cuz I think it's very easy to think if you've had an easy life, it's, you know, that's God's doing. And also like that's what you're entitled to as a Christian. And, and I don't think that is actually the deal and you know, that's not kind of, yeah, it doesn't, certainly doesn't like marry up to any scripture I can find particularly.
I think it's perhaps just a, a cultural kind of thing that we've grown up.
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Anna: Believing quite often in the Western Church. Um, so yeah, that's, that's really interesting. I, I, you know, I love what you're saying there.
Becky: Yeah.
Anna: And um, so you obviously talked a bit there about how it changed, how you saw, saw God and how you related to God a little bit, or thought about your faith.
But I guess looking back now, if you could sort of distill it into one thing, like around what you've learned through the experience, like what would it be like? What do you know now going through that season that you didn't know before? You know, how's it changed your sort of outlook?
Becky: Yeah, I think I now think of God as someone who promises to be with us. I think it was, um, I think Brene Brown describes her faith as being like, instead of it being an epidural, like that thing we're talking about of like. If I just press my button, he'll make my pain go away. And that's what God is instead thinking of him like a midwife and someone who like is with us in our pain and is like they're helping us through those moments instead of just removing us from those things.
So I think I've slowly learned that like what God promises us is to be with us in the midst of that. And promises to see us through, however that ends. And that's not always a happy ending. Like I still don't know my ending, like we think we got the cancer, but like I said, they were kind of treating it blind.
So like, I don't know my outcome. Um, but I'm
Anna: moment. At the moment, you're cancer free though like?
Becky: So they, I'm in, I think I'm just coming up to the three year mark of where they would count from my rediagnosis. Um, so yeah, as far as they know, I know I do regular scans and blood work and all these things to show indicators, and right now they're saying there's no evidence of cancer in my body.
Um, but yeah, they also said they were treating, uh, Unknown cancer and they were stabbing in the dark at it. So that's always there. Like, you know, in the back of my mind I, I'm trusting that and in some ways it doesn't matter because what I know is that regardless of the outcome, that God's with me in the process.
And, um, he's that midwife who's just staying with me and he is rubbing my back and he's breathing with me and he is saying, I'm here till this baby comes, till this new life comes. Like, I'm here, I'm. I'm gonna see this through with you. Um, and there was one bible verse that really stuck with me through it.
Um, it's from James one. Um, in fact, I have it here. I'm gonna read it. It says, um, anyone who meets a testing challenge head on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate for such person's loyally in love with God. The reward is life and more life. And that, that phrase like life and more life really stuck with me because, I think we always think like the reward is, like, for me, I wanted the healing, right?
I wanted to be cancer free. I wanted a certain outcome, and that in this scenario does look like life as we know it. Um, but also I had to become okay with dying and with my life not being the way I've anticipated it going. And so whether I lived or died, like Paul says, you know, to live is Christ, to die is gain, like.
The reward is him either way, it's him in this life or it's him in the next. Like the reward can't be just what he gives me. It can't be healing, it can't be even his peace or like good things that we seek from him. His comfort, his whatever, faithfulness. Like all of those things are good, but ultimately it's him.
Like he has to be the prize and the reward. And so, um, I think, yeah, I. I'm reflecting back, I think I've grown to be okay with like, Jesus is enough for me today and tomorrow if tomorrow comes, and tomorrow if the next day comes. And, um, it's not stuff, it's not money, it's not fame, it's not even legacy or anything like the reward is for me is him.
And whether that's in this life. And I live another day, or whether it's I die and I meet him face to face, like he is my reward and that has to be enough. And I had to get to a point where I could say that he was enough and whether I lived or died or anything in between, he was enough for me. Um, so yeah, I think, um, reflecting back, that's probably one of the, the biggest things.
Anna: Hmm.
Becky: And that's like what I wanted versus what I needed, you know? So I wanted healing. I wanted a great story that I could tell people, but if I had had that in my life, would probably just be looking the same as it did before. I probably would still be like running around frazzled and stressed and overstretched and not taking care of myself and lots of things that I changed in my life after my diagnosis.
Um, What I actually needed was more of him in my life. I needed to be on my knees before him every morning I wake up and say, God, I need you. Like I, I don't know how many days I have left, but I know I need you today. And, um, what I needed was like a internal renewal, I think, um, more, more than an external healing.
Anna: Wow. Wow. That's really, really profound and um, yeah, just very challenging. Um, I guess ha, I mean, so it's kind of, you sort of touched on it there, but has it sort of, has the experience changed the way you look at life now then? I mean, I guess it can't not be right because he didn't. You know, it can't not be to kind of have a near death experience where it's like, I don't know if I'm gonna get through this and come out the other side or not.
You know, that, that really concent. I think you touched on it, but that really concentrates the mind, right? It's a certain focusing when you think I may not have much longer to live. That happens there I guess like how did you find that?
Becky: Yeah, I mean, I definitely, I pretty quickly, you know, you read start reading books and you start reading all the blogs about cancer and taking care of yourself, so I pretty immediately made some big life changes, um, in addition to all, you know, the treatments. So I think I realized how much I had not been taken care of myself, like professionally.
I was a personal assistant. I was taking care of other people. I was a mom to little kids. Like there's no way to not just be. Fill your life with taking care of other people. So it was happening at home, it was happening professionally in church. You know, we were very busy leading things and taking care of people, and I'd honestly like neglected taking care of myself.
Honestly, I didn't, wasn't thinking about sleeping well or eating well or exercising after having kids, or just lots of things like that. I really had to completely overhaul my life and create some margin that I had never had. Like I'd always like push myself to the limits of like, what can I cram in every week?
And um, so I think one of the biggest changes for me was like building margin into my life again and creating spaces to have quiet time alone without my kids around. And. Like putting, working out on my calendar to like actually make sure it happened and being careful about what we were eating and drinking and just, I mean, everything got completely hauled over.
Um, yeah.
Anna: and you even kind of have changed, like your work and your sort of work life balance and stuff like that, haven't you? Like you and like, you know, you're kind of working in sort of more of a ministry context now, whereas you
Becky: Yeah.
Anna: All the cancer. And so I guess like what I see looking on, you know, as, as a family member is that, you know, you've also become really focused about what you do and don't want to do and what's important, what's really not worth worrying about, and kind of giving you that kind of. I guess seeing life as a real gift and not taking it for granted, but also making the most of, you know, that focus that comes with making the most of every minute you've got. And actually like, I don't wanna waste my years doing something that I don't really care about, and I want the time I've got and the here and now, like that you talked about before, like not knowing.
For sure if cancel will ever come back. But actually you've got today and you know, you know, there's, you are here, there's the here and now, and you know, you need God today and you wanna make the most of that. And I think there is something really, you know, kind of focusing about that isn't there, like what I don't know about tomorrow, but I have to live in today and not worry about these things beyond my control.
But actually what I can control is what? What I do with the time I have now, um, like I really see that that change in you as well. I know you've talked about it before, and so that's, that's quite inspiring.
Becky: Yeah. Yeah. I definitely feel like it gave me clarity. The whole situation just gave me clarity on what are my values, what do I wanna do with the, I mean, our lives are just, Minutes and hours and days and hopefully months and years, but none of us know. So if I had a day left, or a month or a year, like what would I wanna do with that and how would I wanna spend those minutes and hours?
And so yeah, like I said, I looked, I kind of looked under every rock in my life and started turning things upside down and yeah, started a, a new job and, um, yeah, more ministry oriented. And I just, I've always loved our local church and. Wanting to kind of serve in that ministry arena again. And, um, just wanna put my time to things that actually matter to me and the values in my life.
Um, so yeah, just everything, everything got turned upside down and um, yeah, it seems radical, some of it, but I don't know. I'm like, that's the, I think that was the gift of cancer to me was that I. It kind of narrowed my vision and my sight on what was important and what wasn't. And um, it gave me the freedom to just make changes that I probably honestly wouldn't have done otherwise.
I'd just be living a mediocre life like Jared and I always used to say like, uh, our little slogan on a house was like, I love our life, like pre pre-cancer, even. You know, early on with kids we're like, we love our life. I just can't believe I get to live this life. And it's not that we don't love our life now, but it was kind of just this cocky, like we'd never experienced really anything hard.
Like of course we loved life. Like it was so easy. We'd never actually, we were in our twenties, you know, living the life and just doing whatever we wanted to do. We weren't like focused really on anything. Um, So I still say now I love, I love my life today probably more than ever actually, um, having gone through this and um, yeah, that was definitely the gift of cancer was just narrows your vision and helps you reassess your values and put priority where things need to be.
So I'm grateful for that piece.
Anna: Yeah. Well, I'm, I'm really grateful for you, uh, coming on today and sharing a bit about your story. I mean, it's so challenging to hear some of what you say, and I guess a challenge for some of us listening, you know, is like, Could we like reconsider some of that stuff without, you know, like that those questions are things we should all be thinking about whether or not we have a cancer diagnosis.
You know, it's,
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Anna: it's, yeah, it's that, uh, thing, isn't it, that you kind of. Would like to think God could do it without like using something awful. But
Becky: Mm-hmm.
Anna: it takes that big thing, doesn't it? To really shake, bring that shake up in your life that you need. But yeah, I thank you so much for joining us today.
Um, it's been really great to hear a bit about your story. Um, I, you know, to be honest, I could keep chatting to you about it for ages. Um, but I am conscious of time on the podcast, so I'm gonna wrap up the conversation in a minute. But yeah, I did wanna say thank you for giving up your time today to talk to us and sharing so generously your story.
Um, And also just to let listeners know that if Becky's story has particularly resonated with you, you can feel free to reach out to her. You can, um, do that through the Crowd Church team. Uh, just drop us an email or reach out to us on the website at www.crowd.church and we can put you in touch with her. If you wanna connect or hear a bit more about her story, perhaps you've got some, you know, overlapping story as well.
Um, so Becky, a big thank you for joining us today. Thanks for being here. It's been great to have you.
Becky: Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure to share with you.
Matt: And just like that, we have reached the end of another fascinating conversation. Now remember to check out Crowd Church at www.crowd.church even if you might not see the point of church. You see we are a digital church on a quest to discover how Jesus can help us live a more meaningful life. We are a community, a space to explore the Christian faith and a place where you can contribute and grow.
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