When Trying Harder Isn't Working
This week at Crowd Church, Matt Edmundson shared honestly about hitting the wall - the kind where your expertise runs out, and your usual strategies stop delivering. Drawing from one of the most dramatic stories in the Gospels, he explored what happens when trying harder simply isn't the answer anymore, and why that might actually be the beginning of something better.
When Your Expertise Stops Working
There's a moment in Matthew's Gospel where professional fishermen - men who've worked the water since boyhood, who know every current and wind pattern - find themselves completely stuck. They've been rowing for nine hours through a storm. The crossing should have taken four, yet despite everything they know, they're going absolutely nowhere.
Matt pointed out the uncomfortable parallel: "These guys were professional fishermen...but right at this point, their expertise, their knowledge, their insider trading - all that sort of stuff is not making one little bit of difference."
Imagine the project manager who's delivered dozens of projects on time, now six months into one that keeps slipping despite every tool in the toolbox. Or the parent who's read all the books but still can't reach their teenager. And it's accompanied by that voice that whispers: "You should be able to handle this. You're the professional. What is wrong with you?”
Matt was honest about experiencing this himself: "2025 wasn't particularly an easy year. I felt like I was rowing in the storm, getting battered by different waves. Some mornings I found it really hard to get out of bed. When I did get up, I tried to stick to my morning routine - reading the Bible, doing a workout - but honestly, some days it felt like I was reading Chinese. The words just weren't going in."
The Boat That Keeps You Safe and Stuck
Here's where the story takes a bonkers turn. At three in the morning, Jesus appears walking on the water. The disciples are terrified - they think it's a ghost. And Peter, exhausted and bleeding, asks the most ridiculous question imaginable: Can I come out there with you?
Why would anyone leave the only thing keeping them afloat?
Matt suggested Peter understood something you can only grasp when you've completely exhausted your own competence: "The boat was safety, absolutely. But the boat was also the limitation. The boat was keeping him alive, but the boat was also keeping him stuck."
Peter wasn't asking for the storm to stop. He was asking to be with Jesus in the storm. To be with Jesus in the miraculous. And that's a very different request.
"When you've exhausted your competence," Matt explained, "you finally get to a place where you're open to something beyond your competence."
What Happens When Jesus Gets in the Boat
Jesus tells Peter to come. Peter walks on water - the same water that had been defeating him all night is now supernaturally holding his weight. Yes, he starts to sink when fear kicks in. Yes, Jesus has to catch him. But here's what often gets missed: Peter's failure in faith put him further ahead than all the disciples' success in self-reliance.
The disciples who stayed in the boat were still stuck, still rowing, still going nowhere. Peter was with Jesus.
Then comes the part of the story that really struck Matt: "Jesus doesn't stay walking on the water while they row behind him. He doesn't drag them to shore with a rope. He doesn't even teleport them to the other side. He gets into the boat - the very boat that had become their prison, the very boat where their expertise had exhausted itself. Jesus climbs into that. And the wind stops."
But notice what happens next. They're still only halfway across the lake. They still have to row to shore. The same boat, the same oars, the same tired disciples - but now Jesus is in it with them.
"Sometimes God's grace when he gets in the mess with you doesn't mean you stop working," Matt reflected. "Peter had to pick up that oar again. But somehow it probably didn't feel like defeat anymore."
The Difference That Changes Everything
This creates an important distinction: the difference between pointless exhaustion and purposeful struggle.
"Instead of rowing in circles, you're rowing towards something," Matt explained. "Jesus in the boat is about two things - mission and power. It's that faith that the struggle has purpose."
He noticed something else shifts too: "When Jesus gets into the boat, you feel like you can finally talk to the people rowing next to you. The shame lifts enough to say, 'You know what, I'm struggling.' Because if Jesus isn't disappointed in my failure - and Jesus can handle our failures a lot more than he can handle our disobedience - maybe I don't have to pretend I'm not failing anymore."
Matt was clear about what this isn't: "I'm not gonna stand here and promise you smooth sailing. I don't think that's what Jesus promised either. What he promises is his presence. 'I'm with you always, even to the end of the world.' I don't think Jesus ever said, 'I will make everything easy.' In fact, quite the opposite."
Conversation Street
"I saw myself in that boat"
Jan shared how vividly Matt's description landed: "I could smell the water. I could see the blood on Peter's hands. I was there - cold, wet, and miserable." But she admitted something that resonated with many watching: "I don't think I would ever have been the person to say, 'Can I come out?' I'd have been watching. And that makes me feel sad."
She reflected on how we often laugh at Peter's impulsiveness, but actually, he was brave: "He experienced something the others never did. How many times have I watched people do things amazingly well, and been in awe of them, thinking: why didn't I do it?"
This was their area of expertise
Dan highlighted something often overlooked: "Jesus took this opportunity with people where it was their expertise. They weren't amateurs. When they told this story later, they could say: 'We are fishermen. We knew what we were doing. This wasn't us being incompetent - this was a storm beyond our capability.'"
They still had to row
Jan, drawing from thirty years as a nurse and midwife, connected the timing: "The body is at its lowest ebb around three or four in the morning. That's when most people die. That was the hardest period on night shifts - you start getting cold, dreaming about your bed. And it would often be when real emergencies happened."
She was struck by the ending: "When Jesus got into the boat, the storm calmed - but they still had to row. After everything they'd been through, they still had to work. Jesus didn't miraculously get them to the other side." She remembered her own "storm nights" in nursing: "I still had to work. My shift wasn't over for another four hours. But the presence of God is with us in the midst of those horrendous times. We can't just give up. We've got to keep going."
Don't disqualify yourself
Matt added a challenge he didn't have time for in the main talk: "How many times do we say, 'When I get here, I will do this'? We disqualify ourselves from getting involved in the miraculous because we feel like we're not ready. But Peter wasn't ready. He was terrified and exhausted - and that's when he said, 'Let's have a go.'"
He continued: "You don't have to wait for all your ducks in a row to enter into some really interesting stuff with God. If that water was calm and there was no storm, it would not have been any easier for Peter to walk on it. We look at our circumstances and disqualify ourselves from the miraculous. Don't do that. Whatever storms you're going through, God can still do some mighty stuff through you. You're not disqualified."
A Different Kind of Progress
Matt shared where he's landed personally: "Maybe I'm still only halfway across the lake with the stuff we've been going through. I know I'm still tired. I'm still looking forward to a really good rest when we hit the shore. But it feels a lot easier now, and definitely a lot more hopeful."
The distinction matters: "Grace doesn't make you stop rowing. You still have to do that. But what grace does is add his ability to yours. The same work, the same skill, the same you - but in addition, you have his presence and his grace. Sometimes the wind stops when he gets into the boat. Sometimes it doesn't. But he is still there. And that's enough."
Your Next Step This Week
Here are some practical ways to apply this:
Name where you're stuck - What's the area where your usual strategies have stopped working? Where do you feel like you're rowing and going nowhere?
Invite Jesus into that specific boat - Not a general prayer, but a specific one: "Lord, would you get into this boat with me?" It might feel like nothing changes. Presence isn't always a feeling - sometimes it's a decision to not row alone.
Stop rowing in silence - Reach out to someone else who's struggling. The shame lifts when you realise Jesus isn't disappointed in your failure.
Don't wait to be ready - Whatever you feel God might be calling you to, whatever seems slightly bonkers given your current circumstances - consider that Peter stepped out at his most exhausted moment, not his most prepared.
Distinguish between pointless and purposeful - You might still be rowing. But are you rowing in circles, or rowing towards something? Ask God to show you the mission in the struggle.
The Invitation
As Paul put it: "When you've done all you can to stand, stand." Or as Matt adapted it for this story: "When you've done all you can to row, row."
The disciples' expertise failed them that night. Nine hours of professional skill got them nowhere. But that failure created the conditions for something their expertise could never have delivered - walking on water, Jesus in the boat, and the knowledge that competence isn't the point.
Maybe your trying harder isn't working because it was never supposed to. Maybe the exhaustion of your own ability is the invitation to experience something beyond it.
The question isn't whether you'll face storms where your skills run out. The question is whether you'll let Jesus into the boat when they do.
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# When Trying Harder Isn't Working
## [00:00:00] Welcome to Crowd Church
[00:00:00] Matt Edmundson: Hello and welcome to Crowd Church coming to you live from Liverpool this Sunday night. My name is Matt Edmundson, and whether this is your first time or whether you've been part of our journey since the beginning, it's brilliant to be with you. We are a community of people figuring out what it means to follow Jesus.
In real life, not the polished, perfect version, but you know, the messy, genuine, brilliant reality of this whole thing called Christianity. So let me give you a little roadmap of what's gonna be happening over the next hour. We'll have a talk last about 20 minutes looking at the topic of relationships, which is the section of our series becoming whole, that we are looking at exploring how Christ makes us whole across every domain of life.
After the talk, we've got conversation streets. Oh yes. This is where we dig into what you've just heard, and you get to be part of that discussion. So if you're with us live, jump into the comments, share your questions, your thoughts, and your stories. And of course, if you're watching on Catchup or listening to the podcast, then thanks for being part of the Crowd too.
Right? Let's meet your hosts and let's get started.
## [00:01:30] Introduction of Hosts
[00:01:30] Dan Orange: Welcome to Crowd Church. It's great to be here tonight.
[00:01:33] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Welcome everyone.
[00:01:34] Dan Orange: Uh, I'm joined by the lovely Jan. Well, yeah, I, I always forget to introduce myself. I'm Dan.
[00:01:40] Jan Burch: And I'm Jan. Yeah. And I'm joined by Lovely Jan, Dan, Jan and Matt. Yes.
[00:01:46] Dan Orange: And Matt. So from a change from the, um, the.
The, the pro, the promoter schedule. Uh, Dave's not very well, so Matt has stepped in and he's doing the talk tonight, so we're looking forward to that. Yeah. Are you Well, I
[00:02:02] Jan Burch: am. Yeah. I'm, I'm very well. Thank you. Yeah.
[00:02:05] Dan Orange: Enjoying the, the rain rather than loving the rain.
[00:02:09] Jan Burch: It's good for the garden. Yeah. Shame. I haven't got one, but be very good for the garden.
[00:02:15] Dan Orange: Well, I think. Let's just pass over to Matt.
## [00:02:19] Matt's Talk: The Story of Jesus Walking on Water
[00:02:19] Dan Orange: All this chatter. Yeah. Let let Matt bring the word. Yeah. Thanks guys. Appreciate that.
[00:02:25] Matt Edmundson: It like a good, uh, few seconds to get yourself sorted out. It's like, welcome to Crowd his Matts, uh, and we need to, we need to work on your, um, your, your, uh, banter and skills. So very warm.
Welcome to you. Great to be with you tonight. Uh, and yes, like, uh, we, Dave, you're watching. We wish you well. Um, we hope you recover, uh, quickly. Um, that's for sure. So let me just get my notes sorted out and we will get
[00:02:53] Dan Orange: cracking. Apologies, Matt. Yeah, thanks. I'm not giving you any time I went from Well, let's not talk too much to, let's not really talk at all.
It's
[00:03:03] Matt Edmundson: always extremes with you, Dan. Yeah.
Anyway, uh, it's great to be with you and, um. Yeah, make sure you say hi in the comments. If you haven't done so already, it'd be great to hear from you. Um, and as I go through the talk, any questions, any thoughts, put them in the comments, uh, and we'll get to them in Conversation Street. No doubts. Now, there is a really famous story in the Bible.
I. And it's a story where Jesus walks on water. Yes. And in that story, uh, at three o'clock in the morning, um, I think Peter's hands are probably bleeding, not just metaphorically, but actually physically a. Bleeding because the roof wood of the awe has probably worn through the calluses in his hands that took decades to build.
Um, what's happened is they've been rowing for nine hours through a storm, and that boats that they're on is not going anywhere. And these men aren't amateurs, they're professional fishermen. If there was such a thing, you know, at the time of Jesus, I'm sure they. Paid their dues. Uh, but these guys were professional fishermen, uh, men who have worked the waters since.
Boyhood men who know every current, every wind pattern and every mood of the lake. But right at this point, their uh, expertise, their knowledge, their insider trading, all that sort of stuff is not making one little bit of difference. It doesn't matter at all their expertise. Wow, who cares? Right? The storm doesn't, it's kind of reached its limits.
And it's got all the markings, this story of a supernatural Hollywood drama. So to understand it, I want to go back to the beginning of the story because nine hours before this was definitely not a drama. Everything was just. Peachy smooth, uh, as they say. And we find the story in Matthew's gospel and the Bible tells us that Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross over to the other side of the lake whilst he sends the people home.
And so there's a simple enough instruction, right? Get in the boat, go to the other side of the lake, go home. Now this trip should take about four hours from door to door. Okay. Possibly less if the wind is cooperating, but it's, it should be about three or four hours. And you know what? I think at the time there's gonna be buzzing among the disciples when Jesus tells 'em to get in the boat because it's the day the.
End of the day where Jesus has just fed 5,000 people with a boys packed lunch. So it's been a pretty miraculous day. That's what has just happened. They watched it with their own eyes. They got to experience it. They were part of that miracle, and it was a heck of a day. Right. I would love to have. In there and eaten some of that bread and fish.
And now to end it, Jesus is sending the people home. No, he's not told the disciples to do it. Jesus himself is gonna do it, and he tells the disciples to get in the boat, go to the other side. Once he's finished, he's gonna go and pray. Okay. All very straightforward. Um, and it should have been a very straightforward crossing because that is what they do.
They're fishermen and it is what they know. It's their wheelhouse, it's their skillset. So what actually happens, what we don't know the exact specifics because it's not. Covered in, uh, in crazy detail in scripture, but I think we can imagine the scene, can't we? So the first hour there in the boat is pretty easy.
There's probably stories and laughter from the day. Everything seems to be going as it should, but by the second hour, maybe the wind starts to pick up a little bit. Maybe it's not that alarming. You know, the lake can be a little bit moody like that really. But hour four comes and goes. This is when they should have been home.
The boat should have been pulling into the shore yet, five hours later, nine hours after they started, they're still not making. Any progress at all. They're still stranded in the middle of the lake. For every stroke forward, the wind pushes them back and the boat is full of, like I say, professional fishermen, experts in their field.
And right now that expertise means absolutely nothing. And I think you can feel it, can't you? When you read the story, maybe even smell the rain and the water crushing into the bow of the boat. And I wonder if any of it feels familiar. So let's suppose for example, you are, um, a project manager and you've delivered dozens of projects on time and on budget, right?
You know the frameworks, you know the methodologies, and you know the communication strategies because this is what you do, right? This is your wheelhouse, this is your skillset. It's what you know. But then you get that project, you know, uh, where six months in, and despite every tool in your toolbox, every late night, every strategy session, you are still going nowhere.
And the deadlines keep on slipping. And if you're like me, you can even feel maybe just a little bit of shame here because you get that voice that whispers. You should be able to handle this, right? You are the professional, you are the leader. You are the boss. You are the man in charge. You've done this before.
What is wrong with you? Now, as I mentioned last week, um, 2025 wasn't particularly an easy year and I felt like I was rowing in the storm. It felt like I was getting a bit battered by different waves like Sharon's cancer and, um, other waves through work and through life and circumstances. I won't bore you with the details, but you know, it felt a little bit like you'd get battered, uh, by the waves.
And, you know, some mornings I found it actually really hard to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay in bed under the covers and hibernate. And when I did get up, I tried to stick to my morning routine. Of course, uh, reading the Bible, I get up, I read the Bible, then I go do a workout. But honestly, some days it felt like I was reading Chinese, I suppose when reading the Bible because the words just were not going in.
And then, if I'm honest, the workouts weren't that great either, maybe six out of 10, uh, in terms of intensity. So all these things I knew to do, you know, like pray, read the Bible, work out, strategize plan, but it didn't seem to work. I just kind of felt like I was stuck and I think about the disciples in the boat and I wonder if eventually actually they sort of fell into this silence with each other because I don't think there's probably much left to say at, uh, three o'clock in the morning.
And it fell a little bit like that. I suppose with me, even with my friends, you know, um, they would've been. Interested in what's going on. Obviously helpful. Um, in metaphorically, they were in the boat with us, but it was hard to talk about stuff because they're going through their own battles, their own storms.
They're in it as well and you don't want to add to their problems and they didn't want to add to yours. And so it can feel a little bit like you are rowing the boat in silence. Which I wonder if what happened with these guys at that time of the morning. And I don't think it's anything to do with competence, either I, or, or even incompetence, I think, and I don't think competence is the enemy.
I don't think it's wrong to have a skillset. Um, it's not wrong to have routines that work, but I think there are times in life when you need more than what you have because you feel like you're run with all your might and yet going nowhere. So what happens next in the story? Well, the Bible tells us that the disciples were in trouble far from land, for a strong wind had risen and they were fighting heavy waves.
About three o'clock in the morning, Jesus came to toward them walking on the water, and when the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified in their fear. They cried out it's a ghost. So again, you've got this sort of picture, um, in your head, haven't you? Or, or if you haven't got one, just think about what's going on, right?
There's sort of this figure walking towards you in the middle of the night, and terror absolutely floods the boat as along with the waves, and they cry out it's a ghost because men don't walk on water. That's not the rational explanation. The rational explanation is this is a ghost because this is out of the ordinary.
And if you think about this for a moment, right? These men had watched Jesus feed 5,000 people from a boy's lunch just a few hours ago. They'd witnessed it, they'd partook in it, and they celebrated a miracle. And it's like, now all that's forgotten, right? And I wonder if this is what exhaustion does to us.
It makes you forget what you've already experienced. I think that's why a lot of times in the Bible, Jesus or God tells us to build a memorial to help us remember the times that God has acted in our lives. So at this point, Jesus speaks and he reassures them. He said, Jesus spoke to them at once. Don't be afraid.
He said. Courage, I am here. Uh, it is great, isn't it? Uh, and if the story that, I mean, at this point, if the story is not crazy enough for you, right? Peter, who has been rowing for nine hours, exhausted hands, callous and bleeding, and now. Terrified.
## [00:13:15] Peter's Leap of Faith
[00:13:15] Matt Edmundson: His response, which I think is just brilliant, is to ask if he can leave the boat entirely right?
Uh, the Bible says Peter called to him talking about Jesus. Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you walking on the water. This is brilliant. I mean, why would you do that, right? Why? When you are drowning in a boat battered by storms, would you voluntarily leave? The only thing that's keeping you afloat.
And I wonder if it's because Peter perhaps understood something in that moment that I think you can really only understand in that kind of moment. See, the boat was safety. Absolutely. It was safety. Um, but the boat was also the limitation, right? The boat was keeping him alive, but the boat was also keeping him stuck.
So. When you're exhausted, um, or when you've exhausted, should I say, when you've exhausted your competence, I think you finally get to a place where you're open to something beyond your competence. And we see this time and time again in the Bible and Peter's request really only makes sense because nine hours of rowing, I think, had stripped away all of his self-sufficiency.
And it's interesting to me because he wasn't asking for the storm to stop, which make, maybe that's the first thing that would come to my mind. If I saw the living Christ walking on water towards me in a storm. I'd be like, dude, just calm the waters, please. Um, but he didn't, which is extraordinary. He was asking to be with Jesus in the storm.
He was asking to be with Jesus in the miraculous. And I can empathize with this a little bit. Not that I can walk on water. I tried it several times and failed every single time. Um, especially in the swim pools. I don't, have you tried the walking on water? Lord? Let's just have a little go. Yeah. It's not gonna work today, is it?
There he went. Um, but last year, uh, in the midst of being tired and being on the edge a little bit, I wasn't, uh, to be cut. You know, lemme over. Dramatize things. I wasn't burnt out, but I think I was pretty close. But in the midst of all that craziness and busyness, I felt like God was telling me to do more, which is ironic because I didn't have enough time to do what I already had to do.
So how could I do more? And I guess more importantly, how, why? Why do I think it was God telling me this? And I think the answer for me thinking it through lies in the fact that it makes absolutely no sense, right? Which may sound counterintuitive because I'm not. It wasn't an external pressure, it was just something that felt completely bonkers in the situation for me, a bit like Peter getting out of the boat.
It's kind of bonkers, but it requires a miracle. So Jesus turns to Peter and he says, yes, come. Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. It's brilliant, isn't it? Jesus invites Peter into the miracle. No instructions, no technique, just an invitation really. And I see Peter again in my mind as I try and picture what's going on.
Um, if you haven't seen the Chosen watch this scene in the Chosen, have you guys seen? It's unbelievable, isn't it? Um, and I see Peter dropping his. Or, and his leg shaken a little bit as he tries to stand and the boat rocks from side to side. From him standing up and from the waves going on. Maybe someone in the boat tells him not to do it, but he swings one leg over the side.
And I'm kind of curious, was it his right leg or his left leg? I dunno. The bubble doesn't say, but it's just how my brain works. Right? And then his foot touches the water. And it holds, right? Like he's walking on ground and then he puts another foot down and another and another, and Peter is walking on water.
The same water that's been defeating him all night, is now supernaturally holding his weight. And he is not doing this through any skill that he has learned. He's walking because Jesus simply told him. To come and somehow that is enough. But this massive wave, I guess, uh, sort of rises maybe to his right and spray stings his eyes.
And the, the wind howls louder and suddenly Peter's brain kicks back in. Uh. The professional fishermen creates the professional assessment. Men don't walk on water. Peter, this is slightly nuts. Uh, this is, this is impossible. And so the Bible tells us that when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink.
And I read that, and I dunno how you read it, but it feels to me kind of like Peter starts to slowly sink. Right, like he's in quicksand. Uh, you know that kind of slowness in his sinking because you don't begin to sink in water, do you? I mean, you sink immediately. If you've ever tried walking on water, you know you within less than a second you are down.
No, no story, right? Just there it is. So it seems that even in the sink in there seems to be a bit of a miracle going on because somehow that slows down. Now I know some of you might be thinking, watching this, walking on water. Really? Uh, Hey, what's going on there, Matt? That's not really, is it? And I get it, and I'm not gonna pretend that this is a small thing to accept.
But I want you to notice what this story does to you. Does it resonate? Does the image of Jesus walking through someone else's chaos, move something in you? Does the picture of exhausted people being met in the middle of their failure stir something? It does me. And sometimes the heart recognizes the truth before the mind has all the evidence.
And if you're not yet that yet, if you're not yet there, that's okay, but just stay with the story. So what happens next? Well, the Bible says, save me Lord. He, Peter shouted, save me. And I think I probably would shout the same thing as Peter if it was, if I was, you know, starting to sink in the water, Lord, save me.
And I don't think that's just a drowning man's Prayer. I think that is the quintessential human Prayer. Lord, save me, save me from what's trying to kill me from, save me from myself, uh, and bring me to life. And the Bible says, and immediately Jesus reached out and grabbed his hand and caught him. And I love this word immediately.
And he says to Peter, you of little faith, why did you doubt? Now I want you to sit with this phrase for a moment because Peter had just failed quite publicly, um, and quite dramatically right at the very thing he volunteered for in front of everybody. In front of all of his friends, he is soaking wet and probably, I'm gonna guess humiliated and maybe slightly confused.
So Jesus, I think in that state, gives him gentleness. He gives him a question, not condemnation, but a simple question. And he also gives him a hand that stops him sinking again. And that's God's grace in action, isn't it? And the interesting thing is. They walk back to the boats for the second time that night.
Peter walks on water, he does the miracle again, uh, because Jesus is holding him up. And I think this is really God's grace in action. And the bit that strikes me most about this is even Peter sinking in the water was closer to Jesus than all of the competent disciples in the boat. Right. So think about that.
Peter technically failed, but his failure in faith put him further ahead than the su. Then all of the disciples success in their self-reliance. That's a really interesting thought, isn't it? So the disciples who stayed in the boat, they were still stuck, still rowing, still going nowhere, but Peter. Well, he was with Jesus and he got to experience something the others never did.
And Peter, for the second time, got to walk on water. And so the Bible tells us that when they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. And I love this part of the story, right? They climbed back into the boat. I mean, picture that, right?
## [00:22:29] Jesus in the Boat: Lessons and Reflections
[00:22:29] Matt Edmundson: But Jesus doesn't notice what Jesus doesn't do in this story. He doesn't stay walking on the water while they row behind him.
He doesn't drag them to shore with a rope. He doesn't even teleport them to the other side, right? I mean, he totally could do that would've been cool. But he didn't, uh, he didn't even teleport himself. He gets into the boat, the very boat that had become their prison, the very boat where their expertise and skills didn't sort of exhausted themselves and didn't help them.
Jesus climbs into that and what he does, the wind stops. So it's the same boat, the same awes, the same tired disciples, but now Jesus is in it with them. Which creates this really interesting paradox that we really need to notice because after all this had gone on, right, they're still only halfway across the lake, so they've still got another two hours to go to the shore.
They still had to row to the shore. And so I think sometimes God's grace when he gets in the mess with you doesn't mean you stop working. Peter had to pick up that awe again, but somehow it probably didn't feel like defeat anymore. And for me, maybe I'm sort of still only halfway across the lake with the stuff that we've been going through.
I know I'm still tired. I'm still looking forward to a really good rest when we hit the shore, but I'll tell you what, it feels a lot easier now and definitely a lot more hopeful, and I get that sometimes we invite Jesus into the boat and the storms don't stop. You know, we've heard talks like this. If you've been around church for a while, sometimes you pray and still get divorced.
Sometimes you have faith and the diagnosis doesn't improve. And I'm not gonna stand here and promise you smooth sailing. Uh, I don't think that's what Jesus promised either. Um, I think what he promises is you, is his presence. I'm with you always, even to the end of the world. I don't think Jesus ever said, I will make everything easy.
In fact, quite the opposite. When you read the gospels, like I said last week, if you want an easy life, I would not become a Christian. But if you want an adventure, well, I think that's a very different story. I don't think the alls suddenly become weightless for the disciples. Um, it's that you are not carrying them alone.
All of a sudden there's a difference between, I think, pointless exhaustion and what I call purposeful struggle. Okay. So, uh, instead of rowing in circles, you're rowing towards something. So what does Jesus in the boat actually feel like? Because it's a great phrase. What does it mean? So for me, it's knowing that I should keep going, not just that I can, okay.
So that I should keep going, not just that I can, in other words, I think Jesus in the boat is both, is about two things. It's about mission and the power. Okay. It's, it's that faith. You have faith that the struggle has purpose. Okay? Lemme put it to you that way. And I've noticed that when Jesus gets into the boats.
Another thing that happens is you feel like you can finally talk to the people rowing next to you. Um, I think the shame lifts enough to say, you know what, I'm struggling because if Jesus isn't disappointed in my failure, and I think Jesus can handle our failures a lot more than he can handle our, our disobedience, let me tell you.
Maybe I don't have to pretend I'm not failing anymore and I can talk to the people next to me about that. So do you feel like you are in the storm and not really getting anywhere? Do you feel like you are doing everything you know to do but it's simply not working? And I think if that's you, just say it out loud, Lord, would you get into this boat with me?
And I think when you say it. Nothing seems to change. Just remember that presence isn't always a feeling. Sometimes it's just a decision to not row alone, to do it in faith. That there is a purpose, that there is a calling, there is a mission here. And maybe the other thing that we can do is just be open to giving a ring to someone who is also struggling.
Uh, and let's stop rowing in silence together. Right? Now, last week we talked about, um, being in, uh, being a character in God's story rather than the author of your own. And I think this is what. That looks like on a Monday morning. It's about letting Jesus into your boat, into your work, into your exhaustion.
And remember, grace doesn't make you stop rowing. You still have to do that, but I think what Grace does is it adds his ability to yours, the same work, the same skill, the same you, but in addition, you have his presence and you have his grace. Sometimes the wind stops when he gets into the boat. And sometimes it doesn't, but he is still there.
And that's God's grace. And that's enough, certainly enough for me. So when you've done, Paul put it this way, didn't he? He said, when you've done all you can to stand, stand, um, and I think it's, it's very poignant in this story when you've done all the row. Row. Uh, and you just, you never know what's gonna happen.
So I would normally give like a little warning that I've come to the end of my talk, but in true.
## [00:28:16] Post-Talk Discussion
[00:28:16] Matt Edmundson: So you reap fashion back over to you den. Cheers. Thanks.
[00:28:24] Dan Orange: Oh, thanks for that, Matt. Wow. That was, yeah.
[00:28:26] Jan Burch: That was brilliant, man. Yeah, that was great. Really brilliant. Yeah. Good. I'm off now. See you later. Okay. Bye.
[00:28:35] Dan Orange: Do you know
[00:28:35] Jan Burch: Oh
[00:28:36] Dan Orange: yeah. I was. I love that. But do you know what I, I like listening to a talk with you, Jan. Do. It's like, it's like watching a film with my sister. If I watch a film with my sister, if there's a crash or something's happening, it's like, Ooh. Ah, yeah. And I could go down and go, oh, oh yeah. Wow.
That's brilliant. I get, I could get exciting commentary.
[00:28:57] Jan Burch: Yeah.
[00:28:58] Dan Orange: So Jan, what was, um, what was your, wow, your, Ooh.
[00:29:02] Jan Burch: I mean, there was just so much actually in, in there that made me go, oh, I just saw myself in the boat. I. And I could, you know, I think Matt brilliantly set the scene. I think, you know, I could smell the water.
I could see the blood on, uh, Peter's hands. I wa I was there, I was a cold, and I was wet. And I was miserable in the boat. And you know what? I don't think I would ever have when I, you know, when we saw, they saw what they thought was a ghost, I would not have been the person to say, can I come out? Can I come out?
I'd have been like watching, and that makes me feel sad because. There are those people and, you know, go-getters, uh, pioneers. Passionate. Yeah. I'm not saying that we don't have passion or that I don't, but I. Although we laugh at Peter, don't we? We go, oh Peter, what's he like? But actually he was very brave.
Yeah. And he was very, as Matt said, he experienced something that the others never did. Yeah. And that, that makes me sad. How many times have I watched people do things amazingly well, and I've been in awe of them. Why didn't I do it?
[00:30:39] Dan Orange: I know I, as you as just saying that, I sort of had two thoughts. One was, 'cause I wrote it down that Peter, who'd, he'd rather sink.
With Jesus and have that opportunity then miss out. But then I always thought, well, but there still were those disciples in the boat. They still, Jesus said, you know, go off in the boat. They still did what they'd been asked Yeah. Asked to do. Yeah. But yeah, sometimes, a lot of the time, I think, would I be that, would I be that Peter?
Would I, would I jump out? Yeah.
## [00:31:11] Jesus and the Fishermen
[00:31:11] Dan Orange: Um, the thing that really struck me was Jesus. Took this opportunity with people that it was their expertise. Yeah. I'd never really taken that on before. It wasn't just, yeah. You know, they're fishermen, they knew all about this. They weren't, when they told it later, it wasn't like, um, it wasn't a carpentry thing where they didn't know as much as Jesus.
Yeah. This was their bread and butter. This is what they did. They'd done everything they could. Humanly possible. Yeah. Yeah. So when they, when they told it. I repeated it to people. We are, we are fishermen. Yeah. We, this wasn't, no, you know,
[00:31:51] Jan Burch: it's like Matt said, they, they knew the storms, they knew the sea, they knew the currents.
Yeah. This was a bad storm. This was a bad night.
## [00:31:59] Personal Reflections on Hard Times
[00:31:59] Jan Burch: Um, and I don't think, you know, whatever our jobs are or whatever situation you've got going on in a home, um, it, it feels like it sometimes that it can. This is really was a bad week. You know, I thought last week was bad, but this is really bad. Yeah. And um, for us it can be like an epic Yeah.
Experience that we go through and we think, you know, how many times have we said. Lord, if you get me through this, I'll never ask for anything ever again. Uh, I think I've said that about a hundred times. 'cause we quickly forget, don't we? What we've been through. But the, the whole thing as Matt was, you know, telling the story reminded me of, um, as, as a nurse, as a midwife, we know, I was taught that the body is at its lowest ebb.
Around about three, four o'clock in the morning. That's when most people die. And it's like your, um, you know, your blood sugar's low. You, you are physically tired, you're mentally tired. You just need to go to bed really and have. Someone who's done many night shifts, that that was the hardest period. Three till four, you start getting cold, you start just dreaming about your bed.
Um, and it would often be the time when real emergencies happened. Um, I mean, know there's, there's one night that stands out amongst, that was the epic night for me. Uh, I had about two, but not many over 30 years. And there's two nights that stand out the, that was the storm. The time.
[00:33:49] Dan Orange: Yeah.
[00:33:50] Jan Burch: And it was absolutely horrendous.
It was like being in a World War II hospital, you know, it was just casualties everywhere. Um, but.
## [00:34:05] The Presence of God in Difficult Moments
[00:34:05] Jan Burch: I was just so challenged when Matt said, when Jesus got into the boat with Peter, the storm calmed right down, but they still had to row. Yeah. And I was just like, you are. You've gotta be kidding. You know what? After they'd been through all of that, they still had to. Jesus didn't. Miraculously get them to the other side.
They still had to work. And I remember in the midst of that hor, those two horrendous nights, I still had to work. I, my shift wasn't over for another four hours. And you know, I need something to really pond around. I need to really listen to that again. But. The presence of God is with us in the midst of those horrendous times.
We, we can't just give up. Mm-hmm. We've got to keep going. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. Massively challenging. Yeah. Yeah.
## [00:35:12] Trusting God in the Storm
[00:35:12] Dan Orange: I think, um, we've said it lots of times actually before on Crowd, Jesus didn't change the situation.
[00:35:19] Matt Edmundson: Mm-hmm.
[00:35:19] Dan Orange: That even when, even when he was walking, he, he stopped, he stopped the, the storm after. Yeah.
When they got back to the boat.
[00:35:29] Jan Burch: Yeah. You
[00:35:29] Dan Orange: know, Peter had that opportunity to join him. In the storm in when it was still full on, and like you said, then they still had to row, row back. We, we still, it's very rare that he. Plucks us and takes us outta the situation. We're there. But now, now we know, we've got that reassurance that he's, he's with us.
Yeah. And it may be, there is some, sometimes there is something miraculous that helps, you know, that intervention. Um, but there's still, there's still those hours left. Um, and this was after such a high point, like you said, like feeding the 5,000 as well, you know, we're stuffed. We just think it's amazing.
Miracle. Yeah. Um,
[00:36:11] Jan Burch: yeah,
[00:36:12] Dan Orange: it
[00:36:12] Matt Edmundson: is crazy, isn't it? After the, after a day like that? Yeah. Um. You know, we've all had days where we've gone, oh, just today was amazing, God. Mm-hmm. It couldn't have gone any better. We saw you move, we saw you do some really funky stuff. It was an amazing day. Mm-hmm. Uh, by three o'clock in the morning, we've forgotten all about it.
Yeah. Right. And it's, we've moved on because life has a habit of causing us to forget and move on. Yeah. And, and I, I think, you know, and you can, you can look at that and go off that play. I can see why they. They'd forgotten about it, you know, in, in the midst of the storm. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, I think it's just, just really fascinating, isn't it?
After, mm-hmm. After the day that they had you just, I think as Christians, sometimes we look at things and we, I feel great with God. I, I'm sort of feeling like I finally get there. Mm-hmm. And then in that, it's not long after that and I'm not prophesying it out or anything like that, but it's not long after that that quite often we have, uh, some of our biggest challenges.
[00:37:15] Dan Orange: Yeah.
[00:37:15] Jan Burch: It's like baptism, isn't it? Yeah. After a baptism, we, you know, it's not like we're speaking, um, failure of, you know. Trouble into anyone's life. But just as when Jesus was baptized, he was then sent out into the wilderness for 40 days, 40 nights where the devil tempted him. And I think a lot of us can testify that when we've had a great high, even in God, there's often a low coming.
Um, and that isn't, you know, a. Spreading doom It. It's just the way life is generally.
[00:37:56] Dan Orange: But also what I take from that is that God knew. So why do you think Jesus said, you go, you go to the other side. I'll tell these people how. How else was he getting? Do you think? Jesus on the other boat, he was like, send him off.
Yeah, walk all the way round. I've always got this
[00:38:14] Matt Edmundson: plan that I'm walking straight across. Yeah. I wonder, I wonder if you did, I wonder if you thought, I know there's a storm coming. There's no way I'm getting in that boat. I'll let them do it. It's, um, yeah.
## [00:38:24] Peter's Leap of Faith
[00:38:24] Matt Edmundson: I, I can't imagine the thing that, one of the things that I didn't get a chance to talk about, um, you know, because of, of time, but one of the things that stands out to me in this story is Peter enters the miraculous.
By walking on water. Right? And the other guys, they experienced the miracle of Jesus getting in the boat and calming the storm and they worshiped him and they say truly he was the son of God and, and all that sort of, so everyone's, you know, having a jolly good old time at the end of it. But what's interesting to me.
Is, how many times in life do we say, when I get here I will do this? Yeah. Right. So, um, the classic one for me was, God, when I earn this much money, I will give this much money, right? So I'm like, uh, this was a target in my head. Like, I'm bargaining with God somehow. And I think Peter. We know he is terrified.
We know he is. He's exhausted. We know it's been horrendous, but that's when he said, let's have a go. Mm-hmm. Right.
## [00:39:30] Disqualifying Ourselves from Miracles
[00:39:30] Matt Edmundson: And it's like so many times we think we, we disqualify ourselves from getting involved in the miraculous because we feel like we are not ready. Right. I look at this story and go, Pete, it wasn't ready, but he had to go.
Do you know what I mean? And I think you don't have to wait for all your ducks to be in a road to enter into some really interesting stuff with your walk with God and to enter into the miraculous. And two. To trust Christ in the most extraordinary way, right where you are in life right now. Whatever your excuse is for not doing that, just think about Peter in that boat and think about the disciples in that boat.
They all had good excuses, but none of them were valid because it's like Jesus, like, you're so what? Right? Sure. Come on out, dude. And I think. Don't disqualify yourself, um, would be with what's going on in life. You know, don't disqualify yourself. I've seen. Some of the best Bible teachers are people that don't have education, right?
Is a is, is, is a reality of life. Some, sometimes the best witnesses for Christ have come from the most horrific backgrounds. You know, they've got the, the sometimes the, the most generous people, the some of the poorest people. Sometimes the happiest people are the people without some, you know, the most generous people that invite you around for dinner.
Aren't, aren't the guys that can afford to invite you around for dinner. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so you don't need to wait for everything to start, like whatever you feel like God's calling you to do whatever you feel like the purpose is, whatever you feel like the mission is, that's stepping out of the boats.
Put it this way, right. If that water was calm and there was no storm, it would not have been any easier for Peter to walk on that water, right? If, if there'd have been no storm and it was eight o'clock at night and the sun was starting to set and they were near in the shore, and Peter could see the fires and smell the bread his wife was making, it would not have been any easier to walk on the water, and I think.
We, we, we look at our circumstances and we look at what's going on around us quite a lot. Um, so often it's true in my life. It's so easy to disqualify you yourself from the miraculous. And I would say don't do that. I'd say whatever you are in, whatever storms you are going through, God can still do some mighty stuff through you.
You're not disqualified. Mm, sorry, I just went off on one. No,
[00:42:15] Dan Orange: that's great. I was liking what you were saying there too.
## [00:42:17] Parenting and Life's Unpredictability
[00:42:17] Dan Orange: Um, for those, those of us that are parents, you don't, I don't think I ever got to a stage where I thought, okay, all sorted. I know to be a parent now won't have kids.
[00:42:30] Jan Burch: Oh, I did, did you? Yeah.
It's a actually,
[00:42:34] Dan Orange: you know, you have to step out, don't you? You know, this is what, this is what I want to do. This is what I, I should be doing. I'm gonna learn. I can prepare. So yeah, I can learn. Yeah. I can spend time with God. I can read, read some books. Yeah. Um, but I'm not gonna experience it until I'm actually No.
[00:42:50] Matt Edmundson: Actually doing it. No. Well, it's the same with anything worthwhile being a parent, being married. Yeah. Being a friend, doing work. I mean, just none of it. You would've, you, would've you I couldn't plan for where I'm in life now. No. No. If I, if, if I was planning my life, I wouldn't be where I am right now. Do you know what I mean?
But thank God I am where I am right now. Yeah, right. Um, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. No. And so, yeah, I, I think, I think it's true, but there's just something about, I think the, the things of God that it becomes easy to disqualify ourselves. And I'd hate for us to do that. Yeah. Because I think, I think God can do some funky things and funky is a word that should definitely be in the be in the Bible.
Um, I'm just, sorry, I'm, yeah. Just looking at the comments there. Any comments? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Luna says, I'm with you so many times I stand back and watch others in awe as I'm too scared to speak out. Yeah. I think that's, it's probably responding what, what you were saying, Joan, with you there. I can totally relate to that.
I love the YouTube name, funny budgie antics. I've no idea what funny budgie antics are, but um, I guess they're funny. Um, says we should trust God to calm the waters in the situations that we're in. Yeah, and I think it's. I think it's an interesting one, isn't it? Because again, if I, if I think about the storm, we know the, the waves calm down and we know that there's a couple of occasions in scripture where Jesus calms the water.
There's this occasion, there's another occasion where Jesus is on the boat and he's fast asleep and the disciples wearing up and say, do you not care that we're gonna die? Yeah. Um. He goes again, where's your faith? And he rebukes the wind and rebukes the waves and a similar sort of ending. They worshiped him saying, truly, you are the son of God, right?
Yeah. Who commands the wind and the waves. Yeah. And so this is the second time we see Christ doing that. But then it's like last week we, I think it was last week and we talked about the storm. With Paul. Right? I was just about to say, yeah, Paul, seven times shipwrecked.
[00:45:02] Dan Orange: You know, it didn't work. He was
[00:45:03] Matt Edmundson: shipwrecked.
Right. The waves didn't die down. Yeah. And in fact, what he did was he stood up in front of the men and he said, take courage, Paul. I'm gonna poke you in the eye. That's what I'm gonna do. Right. Um, he says, take courage. Uh, the ships going down, but all our lives will be spared. Yeah. And, um. You? I think, I think again, I, I would agree with you.
It's good to trust God to calm the storm because we don't have the ability to do it, but we don't need for the storm to stop before we carry on. No. Yeah. Right. So had the waves not died down, I think they still would've been able to rot ashore. It would've been harder. Yeah. Sure. Um, but I think God gives you the grace and the strength to do that.
And like with
[00:45:46] Dan Orange: Paul, we've had one more in the boat. Yeah, that was, that's what I wrote down. You know, even if gland stopped the storm storm, he was there with them then. Yeah. One more person. Yeah. To row that boat back to shore
[00:45:59] Matt Edmundson: because I think, I think it's easy to judge. What we do as Christians I think is we often judge the blessing of God in our lives by how calm the storms are.
Right. So if life is good and things are relatively calm, I feel happy. I feel peaceful. Um, joyful. The kids are well behaved. You know, dinner's good. Life's good. We're going on holiday. We, we. We've hashtag blessed, right? Um, but I think what about when you're in the storms or in the ship wreaks or the, the boat goes under, but you're, you know, and you're washed up ashore and then you get bitten by a snake like Paul did.
Am I not blessed then? And it's so easy to judge what God's doing in our lives by our environment, and, and there is a reason to do that. And there's an element of doing that, but it's not the only thing. Um, and I think. I wouldn't, I wouldn't necessarily be in a rush to use that to, to sort of evaluate the work of God in my life.
Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah.
[00:47:07] Dan Orange: And like, like we just said, you know, a few hours earlier Yeah. They just witnessed the amazing, A miracle and were full on, they were full on blessed, weren't they? Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. It's
[00:47:16] Jan Burch: a, it's one of those, in retrospect, sort of, once you threw it and you're dry and you've got a, you're sitting in front of a warm fire.
Mm-hmm. They can say. I learned a lot through that storm, but in the midst of it, you just have to keep going, don't you? And you don't realize that it's a growth moment. Yeah. You think it's a death moment. Um, but you don't go, ah, we're gonna really grow in character from this storm. It's like. I know, but um, in retrospect we can see that, that those moments are the ones that really shape us the most.
[00:47:53] Dan Orange: Yeah, that's so true, isn't it, Peter? Never forgot that.
[00:47:57] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Moment. No, we can talk to him about that in heaven. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so
[00:48:02] Dan Orange: looking forward to.
[00:48:03] Matt Edmundson: Actually getting, yeah, I'm walking on water in heaven. Yeah. If I, I keep trying in the swimming pool and I'm gonna keep trying. 'cause one day it might work, but if not, when I get to heaven, I'm going to, I'm definitely gonna walk on water.
Me and the Lord, I should have an arrangement
and I'm gonna slide down the streets of gold in my socks. That's my plan.
[00:48:25] Dan Orange: I do. Yeah, I do. I'm looking forward to just. Speaking to some of these people and just, well, I think we say that now, don't we? Just the awe of looking at Jesus' face will just be, yeah. That'll take a flu few millennium. Yeah. Perhaps a few millennium later we might.
Have a chat with Peter and say, what was that walking on water like. Yeah. Incredible. Isn't it?
[00:48:50] Matt Edmundson: Get to have a go. Yeah, absolutely.
## [00:48:53] Final Thoughts and Upcoming Events
[00:48:53] Matt Edmundson: Should we go to, um, I, sorry. You are hosting. Let me, uh, we should probably go to Live Lounge. Can you just back off a bit? Yeah, no. Give us space.
[00:49:01] Dan Orange: I'm not at all. Fill. I'm Zoe. Could you put, you've probably already done it.
Um, put the Google Meet details in the comments, so if you'd like to join us for Live lounge. Afterwards, please do we just get to hang out and chat. Actually. Mm-hmm.
[00:49:19] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Come and join
[00:49:20] Dan Orange: us. Yeah. Um, and just a reminder, so back again next week. I dunno what the talk is next week, I don't think know if things have shifted or not.
[00:49:29] Matt Edmundson: No. So, uh, sorry guys, it's me again. Three weeks on the bounce. Um. We're talking about biblical friendship next week, so we're carrying on the wholeness series. Um, I would've done that talk tonight, but I just wasn't ready. Um, I'm not gonna lie. So, um, with a few short hours, we, uh, we didn't have time to finish that off, so we're gonna do biblical friendship.
Um. Next week, uh, yeah. And I'll be here for that. And also on Wednesday, can I just say if you're watching this and you are new to the Christian faith or you're still thinking about the Christian faith, um, and you've not done an alpha course. We have an alpha starting on Wednesday. There's about 28 people which have registered so far, um, which is great.
Now, not all 28 people are gonna show up. Uh, well I say that, don't let me pro You're all welcome. Obviously my experience is not everybody shows up. Um, but you would be more than welcome to come join in. Um, and every week basically we watch a short video, like an 18 minute video, um, done by the guys at Alpha.
The videos are really good. They focus around one key question, um, like, is there more to life than this? Who is Jesus? Why did Jesus. I am looking at some of these bigger questions around the Christian faith. And so if you're curious, if you wanna know more, if you wanna know more about the Christian faith, I highly recommend Alpha.
And after the video, the 20 minute video, we just sit and chat. There's no judgment, there's no right or wrong answers. Everyone's got an opinion, um, and everyone can throw it in. Some people don't wanna do that. Some people actually just wanna join in through the chat on Zoom and don't wanna use their microphone.
That's totally fine. And whatever you are comfortable with, it'll be great to see you at Alpha. There is more information on the website. Www dot Crowd Church slash alpha. Um, and if you want to get involved, just fill out the little form on there and that'll come through to us and we can start sending you the emails with a Zoom link, um, and all that sort of stuff.
So if you'd like to come join us in Alpha, it'd be great to see you there. That starts this Wednesday, Wednesday the 14th of January, um, at 7:30 PM UK time. So it'll be half past seven in the evening here in the uk. Um, if you're outside of the uk. There's a little converter time converter that you can use on the web, which will convert that to your local time.
Um, but it'd be great to see you in there. Uh, and like I said, just fill out the form if you wanna know more about it. Mm-hmm. Sorry. Absolutely. That's brilliant. Oh, brilliant. Thank you Matt. And thank
[00:51:57] Dan Orange: you. Yeah, thanks very much, Jennifer.
[00:51:58] Jan Burch: Yeah. Really enjoyed tonight. It was great. Yeah.
[00:52:01] Dan Orange: And yeah, goodbye for me.
Yeah. And we'll see you again.
[00:52:04] Jan Burch: Yeah. Have a great week, everyone.
[00:52:06] Dan Orange: Next week.
[00:52:06] Jan Burch: Have a really great week. Alright, cheer. Bye for now.
Bye.
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