Real Friends Are Rare. And Worth It.

18 Jan

YouTube Video of the Church Service

How many friends do you have? Facebook will tell you one thing. LinkedIn might tell you another. WhatsApp probably has about seventeen chat groups, most of which are muted. And if someone asks whether you're friends, you might say yes to almost anyone you've met more than twice.

But here's the thing. We've stretched the word "friend" so thin it's started to mean everything and nothing at the same time. A friend is someone who liked your post. But a friend is also someone you'd call at three in the morning when everything falls apart. Same word. Completely different meaning. And perhaps that's why we have more friends now than any generation in history, yet we feel more alone than ever before.

The Friendship We've Lost

At Crowd Church this week, Matt Edmundson explored what true friendship actually looks like. Not the social media version. Not the acquaintance-you-see-at-parties version. The kind that changes your life, carries you through crisis, and reflects something of how God relates to us.

To understand this, Matt took us to one of the most remarkable moments in the Gospels. It's the Last Supper. Jesus is hours away from being arrested. The day after tomorrow, he'll be crucified. He's already in turmoil, knowing what's coming. And in the middle of this final evening with his disciples, he says something extraordinary:

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends... No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends." (John 15:13-15)

Think about that for a moment. The God of the universe looks across the table at a ragtag group of fishermen and tax collectors - one of whom is about to betray him - and calls them friends. Not servants. Not subjects. Friends.

What Makes Friendship Safe and Secure

What's even more remarkable is that Peter is sitting in that room hearing these words. Peter, who in just a few hours will deny knowing Jesus three times, while his friend is on trial for his life. If any friendship was going to break, it would be this one.

But it doesn't.

After the resurrection, Jesus finds Peter by the lake and asks him three times, "Do you love me?" Three denials. Three chances to come back. That's what friendship with Christ looks like. He doesn't wait for you to get your act together. He doesn't keep score. He moves towards you, even after you've let him down.

Matt identified two essential ingredients for deep friendship: grace and covenant.

Grace says you can mess up, you can be imperfect, and I'm not going to hold it against you. Grace is what makes a friendship safe. It means you can be your real self, not your polished self, because you know you won't be rejected for it.

Covenant says I'm not going anywhere, and you can trust that I'll still be here tomorrow. Covenant is what makes a friendship secure. It means you're not constantly wondering if this person is about to disappear from your life.

Here's the thing, though - you need both.

Grace without covenant is warm but flaky. It's the friend who's lovely when it's convenient, but when things get hard, they fade away. Matt shared how when Sharon went through her cancer diagnosis last year, some people pushed in while others went silent. They weren't bad people. They just weren't covenant-minded.

Covenant without grace is loyal but heavy. It's the friend who stays but resents you for it, who keeps score, who makes you feel like you owe them something for sticking around. Those friendships slowly poison everything.

But grace and covenant together? That's safety and security. Freedom and faithfulness. That's what Jesus offers us, and that's what we can learn to offer each other.

The Best Friendships Aren't Found - They're Forged

Jesus had different circles of friendship. He loved the crowds, taught the seventy, and invested deeply in the twelve. But when it came to the most significant moments of his life, he only took three people with him: Peter, James, and John.

They were there when Jairus's daughter was raised. They witnessed the transfiguration. In Gethsemane, when Jesus was facing his darkest hour, he took these three deeper into the garden and said, "Stay here. Watch and pray."

Even Jesus had an inner circle. Which gives us permission to have one too.

If you're anything like most people, you might feel guilty about not being able to maintain deep friendships with everyone. Guilty that some people get more of your time than others. But you can't be best friends with everyone. You don't have that capacity. Nobody does. And that's not failure - it's wisdom.

The Bible recognises this in Proverbs: "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

That's the difference between Facebook friends and true friends. And those deeper friendships don't just happen. You don't stumble across them.

The best friendships are forged.

Forging implies heat, pressure, and time. Like a blacksmith making a sword - it doesn't just appear. It's made through fire, hammering and patience. True friendships work the same way.

Peter and John didn't start out as best mates. They were business competitors - rival fishing operators on the same lake. They had reasons not to like each other. But look at what they became.

When Jesus needed someone to prepare the Last Supper, he sent Peter and John together. When the tomb was empty, they raced there together (John got there first but waited for Peter before going in). After the resurrection, they faced the Jewish ruling council together, got arrested together, and refused to stop preaching together. When Samaria received the gospel, the church sent Peter and John to confirm it.

They spent decades doing life together. Shared mission. Shared suffering. Even shared failure - Peter denied Christ while John stayed at the cross. That could have destroyed their friendship. Instead, it became part of their foundation.

That's what forged friendship looks like. Not perfect. Not easy. But incredibly durable.

When Friendships Don't Survive

Matt talked about having three really close friends from university. They lived together, grew in faith together, and did ministry together. Their families became tight. Those friendships were forged over decades through illness, crisis, and just doing life in the trenches.

But that group of three is now a group of two.

With one of those friends, Matt was in business together. The relationship ended badly. There were things said and done that couldn't be overcome. The last communication was an email wishing each other well, almost ten years ago.

Not all friendships survive. And that's a painful reality. You grieve those friendships. You question yourself. You wonder why it didn't work when you thought it should.

But the friendships that remain, the ones that are really tight and close, they weren't found. They were forged. Through time and fire. Through being there when it wasn't convenient. Through grace when he messed up and covenant when he wasn't the best friend he could be.

He shared about one friend who, when Matt had a serious hand injury years ago, just showed up and gave him £500 so he wouldn't have to rush back to work. No questions asked. And when Sharon had her diagnosis last year, this same friend called regularly - short calls, just checking in. No one keeping score. Grace and covenant in one person.

Conversation Street

"I'm surrounded by people but feeling alone"

This was one of the first comments that came in during the live stream, and it resonated with many watching. Anna reflected on how our generation has swapped depth for breadth - we might have 800 Facebook friends but struggle to name someone we could genuinely call at 3 am.

Sharon shared about a friend who experienced deep loneliness at school. She didn't click with anyone in her small class, but God used that season to deepen her relationship with him. As 2 Corinthians 1:4 says, "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others."

The encouragement? If you're in a season of loneliness, press into God. That season doesn't have to be permanent. And the comfort you receive might become the comfort you one day give to someone else.

How do you actually build deep friendships?

Anna was really practical here. After COVID, she found many friendships had drifted, or people had moved away. She had to be intentional about building new connections.

She joined a weekly Pilates group. Started a book club with uni friends (some Christian, some not). Joined a choir connected to the church. She put herself out there, tried different things, and was okay with the fact that not everything would work.

Some things did work. Really well. She's made good friendships - maybe not forever friendships, but fulfilling ones for this season of life.

The key? Be proactive. Sign up for something. Go where people are. Risk rejection. See what sticks.

Friendship with God changes everything

Anna made a point that kept coming back throughout the discussion: if you can find a deep friendship with God as your foundation, it makes other friendships easier.

A lot of the insecurity and fear people have about friendships - "Do they really like me?" "Will they reject me?" - comes from not being secure in their relationship with God.

When Anna became secure in her friendship with God, the fear of rejection and disappointment became less important. She was anchored in the most important relationship. That made her okay with some friendships being seasonal, some being deeper, and some ending badly. Because her identity wasn't dependent on any of them.

And when you're secure in your relationship with God, it's actually easier to be friends with you. It's hard to be close to someone who's constantly anxious about the friendship, who needs constant reassurance. That puts pressure on everything. Security in God removes that pressure.

Your One Step This Week

Matt's challenge was to take one step toward someone this week.

Not to earn their friendship. Not to keep score. Just to offer what you've received from Christ.

Send a text. Make the call. Show up. Bake something. Send something.

And then pay attention to who steps back towards you.

Because the best friends aren't found - they're forged. Real friends are rare. If you have one, two, or three, you're doing well. And friendships like that are worth it. Worth the time. Worth the awkwardness. Worth the risk of getting hurt.

When you find someone who offers you grace and covenant - safety and security - when you find someone who stays through the fire and comes out the other side with you, that is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer.

It Starts With Being Befriended by Jesus

If you've never experienced that kind of friendship with Jesus, that's where it begins.

He's the one who called you a friend before you earned it. The one who restored Peter after his worst failure. The one who says to you today, "I am not going anywhere."

You can receive that friendship. And then you can give it away.

So, who are you going to reach out to this week?

# Real Friends Are Rare. And Worth It.
## [00:00:00] Introduction and Technical Issues
[00:00:00] Sharon Edmundson: So, uh, for those who don't know, I'm Sharon. And this is Anna.
[00:00:03] Anna Kettle: Hi I'm Anna.
[00:00:03] Sharon Edmundson: Uh, we are hosting tonight and Matt will be speaking at some point soon, hopefully. Yeah,
[00:00:08] Matt Edmundson: yeah, absolutely. So you never know what's gonna happen, do you?
[00:00:12] Sharon Edmundson: You never know. It keeps us in our taste, doesn't it?
## [00:00:15] Welcoming the Audience
[00:00:15] Sharon Edmundson: I did ask a question in the chat just to see how everyone's weeks are.
Uh. So
[00:00:20] Matt Edmundson: can you see the comments? They're coming up here. I'll pull em on. Can anyone
[00:00:23] Anna Kettle: tell us if we're actually live? Yeah. Well people are commenting. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good, good, good.
[00:00:28] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, what we got? Oh, lemme turn the volume down 'cause I definitely don't need to hear myself twice guessing these are significant tech issues.
Yes. ade you are correct. They are significant tech issues. Um, hoping nothing is smoking you and me both other than Dan Dan's smoking right now. Um, he's coming out of his ears. Uh, hey Sonya. Um, hey Luna. How you doing?
## [00:00:53] Discussion on Friendship
[00:00:53] Matt Edmundson: Great to meet you on Wednesday, by the way, um, Ellis YouTube description mentioned, surrounded by people, but feeling alone, grieving a friendship that didn't survive or simply wondering how to go deeper with the people in your life.
And I'm all three. Why? Hopefully you're in the right place. Um, tonight, Alice. So yeah, we're gonna catch on and talk about that. So should we just do that? Should we go into the talk and then
[00:01:16] Anna Kettle: Yeah. Yeah. We'll leave Matt to do the talk and then put back up. We talk about that afterwards. Sorry. Normally you'd have to be screens, but we're all gonna, we're all gonna be over your shoulder, Matt.
Yeah.
[00:01:27] Matt Edmundson: Where it's the still cozy, isn't it? Yeah. And so, um. So, yes. Uh,
[00:01:32] Sharon Edmundson: so not, not doing the bunny ears in the background.
[00:01:34] Matt Edmundson: Saw a big banner before Alpha. Did it start well on Wednesday? Yeah. Alpha was great actually. I really enjoyed Alpha. Thanks for asking. Um, we had a great time with the guys on Wednesday, so still time to join.
If you want to come join as an alpha, you'd be more than welcome. Um,
[00:01:49] Sharon Edmundson: that's online too, isn't it?
[00:01:50] Matt Edmundson: Yes, it is.
[00:01:51] Sharon Edmundson: And if it's a bit daunting to come and join with loads of people you don't know, you don't have to have your camera on. You don't even need to speak if you don't want to just show up. Yes. I'm not sure what's happened to my voice.
It's been final day tech issues. It's all
[00:02:04] Anna Kettle: going wrong tonight, isn't it? But we are really glad you're still here. Yeah. Tech issues.
[00:02:10] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. So yeah. Bear with us. You're choking up. That's what it is. Yeah. You're choking.
[00:02:13] Sharon Edmundson: So, um, yeah, do keep the comments up as Matt does his talk.
## [00:02:16] Transition to Matt's Talk
[00:02:16] Sharon Edmundson: We're in a series about wholeness.
And tonight we're doing a bit about, um, Matt speaking about friendship as part of that. So yeah. Yeah, me and Anna are gonna disappear and be back in a bit. Yeah. Okay. Alright.
[00:02:28] Matt Edmundson: Leave me to it. See you soon. Let me just, um, unplug that because I don't think I need it. Oh, sorry ladies, gentlemen, let me get a little bit more established here.
I just love the fact that I can just go live on my laptop. That's all a bit mental, um, but nice. Nice how it all works in the end, right? Just bear me one second as we just get ourselves a bit situated to unplug, unplug something I should probably have not unplugged. There we go. The trouble is all of this is set up for the other systems.
All my notes are on a different system, so let me just pull those over. Um, stay.
## [00:03:14] Matt's Talk: The Meaning of Friendship
[00:03:14] Matt Edmundson: And we will get going, talking about friendship. So friendship is, oh, here we go, and we are back on. Wonderful. So let's get on with it now. How many friends do you have? Let's get into this topic. I want you to think about it, uh, for a second.
What's your number? Um. How many have you got? Uh, Facebook will tell you one thing. LinkedIn maybe will tell you another, um, maybe WhatsApp. If it's like my WhatsApp. You've probably got about 17 chat groups, um, most of which are muted, much to the annoyance of the people in the WhatsApp groups. And of course if someone asks us if we are friends.
You might say yes to almost anyone that you've met more than twice friends is an interesting word. It's a bit like the word love. So for example, um, I love pizza, um, but I also love my wife who you just met. Um, Woohoo. It's the same word, right? But it has a completely different meaning. Obviously, and hopefully, uh, and I think we've done that maybe with the word friend too.
We've stretched it, we've flattened it, and I think we, maybe we've overused it until it means everything and then it kind of means nothing. Right? A friend is someone who liked your post, but a friend is someone. You'd also call it three o'clock in the morning when everything falls apart. And so I think the word friend has become a bit of a catchall word with so many different meanings, and I wonder if that's why we have more friends now than any other generation in all of history, and yet we feel more alone than any other generation in history.
And like many of you, I've found true friendship to be utterly amazing and a real anchor in my life. But I've not always been a great friend, and if I'm truthful, some of the most painful things that I've gone through have been because of friendships that have broken down for whatever reason. So today in our very technical livestream, I want to reclaim the word.
Friendship, and I want to talk about maybe what true friendship actually is. The kind that changes your life, that carries you through crisis and reflects something of how God relates to us.
## [00:05:49] Jesus and His Friends
[00:05:49] Matt Edmundson: And to help us do that, uh, I wanna look at a moment in the gospels that I found, if I'm honest with you, I think it's one of the most astounding revelations in all of scripture.
And to really get your head around this, I want to set the scene. Okay, so we're. In the upper room, uh, with Jesus and the disciples, they're eating together in what we've, what we now have come to known as the Last Supper. And in a short while, Jesus will head to the Garden of Gethsemane. And he is gonna be in such agony and emotional turmoil about what's about to happen, that he will actually sweat blood.
So he is hours away from being arrested and the day after tomorrow he is gonna be crucified. And I think this is important context because Jesus will already be in turmoil. Whilst in this room with the disciples, whilst he's eaten his supper, this is all gonna be going on in the back of his mind. He knows what's coming and in the middle of the final evening together, right?
Eating with his disciples, with all of this coming, he says this, he says, greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends. If you do what I command you, no longer do I call you servants for the servant Does not know what his master is doing, but I've called you friends for all that I have heard from my father.
I have made known to you. I call you friends and apologies. Um. That I don't have the scriptures upon the screen. Um, it's very raw tonight. Uh, raw technology, which is quite, it's quite nice actually. I'm quite enjoying it. Uh, so, but anyway, this idea of friendship, right, with Jesus, think about it for a second.
The God of the universe, the Christ, the one that is supposed to save humanity from itself, looks out across the table and sees this sort of ragtag group of fishermen and tax collectors. And one of whom right, is gonna betray him. And yet Jesus calls them friend, not servant, not subject, but he calls them friends.
And here's what makes this, I think, even more remarkable, um, in many ways because Peter is in that room and he hears. These words, I call you friends. He hears Jesus say that, but Peter. Is also only a few hours away from doing something. At this point, he's a matter of hours away from denying that he ever knows Jesus.
He'll end up denying Christ three times and he will do this in public, or whilst his friend Jesus is on trial for his life. So if any friendship was gonna break. It's probably gonna be this one, but the reality of it is it doesn't, because what happens is after the resurrection, Jesus finds Peter down by the lake and he asks him three times notice Peter denied Christ three times and he asks Peter then three times, do you love me?
And Peter gives the answer yes. So Jesus gives him this sort of three opportunities, uh, to come back. And I think this is part of what it means to be a friend of Christ. He doesn't want you to get your act together. He doesn't keep score. He moves towards you. I think even after you've let him down.
Whatever that looks like. And the utterly astonishing idea and all of this is that this friendship that Christ has when he says, I call you friends, is extended to you and to me and to all the Christ followers. Around the world. We get to call ourselves friends of God, the son of God. We are friends with Christ himself.
And I think whenever we talk about friendship, true biblical friendship starts on this premise that we are in fact friends of Christ.
## [00:10:11] The Inner Circle of Friendship
[00:10:11] Matt Edmundson: So one of the surprising things I suppose about all of this and about Jesus when you look at his relationships with people is that it seems like he had different circles of friendship.
For example, he loved the crowds. He taught the 70, and he invested deeply in the 12 disciples. But when it came to the most significant moments in his life. He only took three people with him, which if you know the Bible, you'll know it. Remember, it's Peter, James and John. So Peter, James, and John, they were there when Jairus's daughter was raised from the dead.
Uh, they were the only ones who saw the transfiguration, which was this crazy moment, uh, in the Bible where sort of Jesus and Heaven collide. Uh, and also as I mentioned, in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus was facing. His darkest hour, he took these three, James, Peter, and John deeper into the garden and he said, listen, you stay there.
You watch and you pray. So I think even Jesus had sort of an inner circle, which I think while it gives us, it gives us permission to have one as well. Because if you're anything like me, um, you can feel guilty, sometimes guilty, that you can't maybe maintain. Uh, deep friendships with everyone. Guilty that some people get more of your time, more of your attention than others.
Guilty maybe that you've let some relationships, um, drift or slide, but you can't be best friends with everyone. You don't have that capacity. I don't think anybody does. And it seems that Jesus didn't have that capacity. Well, at least when he was on Earth, he had his. Closest circles. And also we see it with Peter.
So Peter had different circles too. He called Silas, uh, his faithful brother, mark was called his son. And if you were with us a few months ago, and we talked about this idea of spiritual fathers, that's what that's all about. Even Paul, who, uh, if you read the Bible, Paul and Peter, they have a bit of a run in.
They really do. And Paul opposes Peter, um, publicly, but even Peter still calls Paul our beloved brother. So we can see with Peter and with Paul and with Jesus, there are different tears, different kinds of. Friendship, all of them are valued. Um, of course. But if you take this idea that according to the Bible, for example, which I think is really an interesting idea, if you are a Christian, if you are a Christ follower, then you and I are brothers and sisters.
Right? Brothers and sisters in Christ. It's a phrase that we. There's this really interesting, uh, Bible verse in the book of Proverbs, which says, A man of many companions may come to ruin. That's interesting, isn't it? But there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. There's a friend who sticks closer to the brother.
So we see here the Bible is recognizing the difference between many companions or many friends, and that friend who sticks closer than a brother who sticks closer than our own flesh and blood. And I suppose that's the difference between Facebook friends and true friends, right? And so I find that helpful.
I find it helpful to think about friends like this. Um, like there are circles of friends and each circle needs different things. Um, but in all of it, there is this small group of friends who stick closer than a brother. And I think that. It is a great place to invest into. That's those deep friendships, um, I think should be where we invest deeply into.
So it's okay to give yourself permission. Not everyone will be in your inner circle. Not everyone will be your best friend. Not everyone will be close, and that's not rejection. I think that's just the reality of it, and I think that's wise. Um, and I don't think it's failure. And so I think it's okay. So here's a question, right?
If, if this is true, if Jesus had an inner circle. Now I'm not saying that he loved people more than others. Let's not get off into some quirky theology, but he, he did spend a bit more time with various people if he did have this sort of inner circle. What made those friendships, those relationships different?
What was he offering, Peter, James and John that maybe those in the crowds didn't get asked? And I think actually there's three things that I wanna look at. Um.
## [00:15:07] Grace and Covenant in Friendship
[00:15:07] Matt Edmundson: The first one is grace. Okay? And I think grace is essential for any kind of deep friendship. See, grace says you can mess up. Um, you can be imperfect and I'm not gonna hold it against you.
That's what we saw with Jesus and with Peter. There was no denial. There was no lecture, there was no, I told you. So just do you love me? Great. Let's keep going. Peter. I've got a mission for you, man. Let's keep going. And I think grace is what makes, um, a friendship safe, okay? Because it means you can be yourself, your real self, not your polished self, um, because you know you're not gonna be rejected for it.
So it's safe. So I think there's grace. The second thing I think you'll find in these deep friendships. Is Covenant, which again is a word we don't really throw around much these days. And we've talked about Covenant quite a bit at Crowd. And you, you can definitely go back and check those out if you wanna dig into it more.
But Covenant would say, I'm not going anywhere and you can trust that I will still be here tomorrow. Covenant is a foundation of my marriage. Friendship, for example. Now the Bible says, um, I will never leave you nor forsake you. This is God talking in Hebrews 13, five. And Jesus said to his disciples, I am with you always to the very end of the age in Matthew 28 20.
And I think he meant it right, even when the disciples ran, even when they hid, even when Peter pretended like he never met Jesus. Um, Jesus is like. I am still here. And Covenant is what makes a friendship secure. So Grace I think makes it safe, but I think Covenant makes it secure. It means you're not constantly wondering if this person is about to disappear from your life.
And here's the thing, I think you need both. You need both grace and covenant because grace without covenant is warm, but it can be a little bit flaky. It's the friend whose lovely. When it's convenient to be lovely, you know, usually when everything's going well, but when things get hard, where are they?
You would've heard me if you've been around Crowd talk about last year when Sharon went through her cancer diagnosis. Um, and actually it was interesting to watch what people did. So quite a lot of people would push into it. Um, but there were some people who didn't, they faded. They were still in the WhatsApp group, but they were silent, they were absent, they weren't bad people.
But I wouldn't say that they were committed, they weren't covenant minded. But of course, you can also have covenant without grace, right? Um, and this is loyal but heavy, right? It's the friend who stays but resents you for it to keep score who makes you feel like you owe them something for sticking around.
And I've had those friendships too, and I think they slowly poison pretty much everything really, but grace and covenant together. Wow, that's an interesting combination. Um, and I think it's quite biblical because you've got both safety and security. You've got freedom, and you've got faithfulness. Um, and that is a really good foundation for a good friendship.
And I think that's what Jesus offers us and that's what we can learn to offer each other. Now I think the world outside the church can offer acceptance without community or duty without delight. But I do wonder whether only the gospel really holds these things well together because grace and covenant really is what God is all about.
We see that modeled, um, in our relationship with God. So I said that there were three things. Um, I'm gonna get to the third, but let me start that by asking a question.
## [00:19:18] Forging Deep Friendships
[00:19:18] Matt Edmundson: How is a deep friendship forged? So if we think about Jesus, um, with Peter, James and John, okay. What Jesus does is he offers them something else.
I think he offers them a chance to do life with him in a way. No one else is right. They got to see every single side of Jesus from his highest size to in Gethsemane, the lowest of lows, where Jesus is just in absolute agony. And I don't think friendships like that just happen. You don't. You don't stumble across them.
I think the best friends aren't found. I think the best friendships are forged. And I do like that word. I'm using it intentionally forged because it implies heat, it implies pressure, it implies time like a blacksmith. I did a bit of metal work in blacksmith and when I was at school shows you how long ago it was, um, when we used to do things like that.
Um, but it's interesting isn't it, because a sword. Just doesn't appear. I didn't, you don't find a sword. You make one and you make it through fire and hammering and through patience. That's, you know what forging is all about. And I think that's what true friendships are about, especially the ones that want to last.
And we can see this a little bit in Peter and John. They did not start out as best mates, not at all. Um, they were actually business competitors. They were rival fishing operators on the same lake. Um, if anything, maybe. They had reasons not to like each other. I am hypothesizing. I appreciate that because scripture's not clear, but what is clear is what they became.
So when Jesus needed someone to prepare the Last Supper, he sent Peter and John together when Peter wanted to know who would betray Jesus at the last Supper. Um, he leaned over to John and asked him to find out when the tomb was empty. Peter and John raced to the tomb together. It turns out John's a bit of a faster runner and he got there first, but he still waited for Peter before going in.
So it's interest in this friendship, um, that had developed and how they knew each other's strengths and how they made space for each other. What's also interesting is, um, at the resurrection, right? Peter wasn't there. He denied Christ. Um. But John was so they had to obviously overcome that. That would've had some really interesting conversations, wouldn't it?
But overcome it. They did. Because after the resurrection, Peter and John, were they on the way to the temple? A blind. A blind man? No, a lame man got healed. Let me get the, the story right. A lame man gets healed and Peter and John get arrested and they face the Jewish ruling council together called the Sanhedrin.
Um, they were arrested, they were threatened, and they were told to stop preaching, but they sort of refused this, and they refused it together. And when the church in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the gospel, in other words, it was just, you know, Jesus was just breaking out in this town called Samaria and everybody was becoming Christians.
And so what did the church do? They sent Peter and John together to confirm it. They, these guys spent decades of doing life together. They had shared mission, shared suffering, and even that shared failure of denying Christ, um. But it didn't dent their friendship, did it? Their friendship survived it, survived the failure, survived the shame, survived the awkward conversations, because that's what forged friendship looks like.
It's not perfect. It's not easy, but it is very, very, very durable. Peter mentions in one of his letters, um, that he was a witness to the sufferings of Christ, that he saw the sufferings of Christ. And I wonder if Peter is talking a little bit here about Gethsemane. You know, these final moments before Jesus is arrested, um, right after the last supper, right after the bit where he called them friends and.
What's fascinating about this, like I said, Jesus is in so much agony. He is sweating blood, and if there's any way God take this cup away from me, nevertheless, not what I will, but what you will be done. And it's a very famous, um, story about Christ and the agony that he's facing. But he takes with him, Peter, James, and John, and says to them, like I said, stay awake and pray.
But they fell asleep. The chaps fell asleep. Where were they in Jesus's most difficult moment? They were nowhere. They were fast asleep. They couldn't even stay awake and pray for Jesus. They had failed him in whatever way that looked like. And yet that shared experience, I think of failure and grace became part of their foundation for the friendship and the ministry that lasted the rest of their lives.
## [00:24:20] Personal Reflections on Friendship
[00:24:20] Matt Edmundson: And I dunno if you've experienced this, 'cause I have, I had, um, three really, really good close friends. Um, we met uni, we lived together. We grew in faith together. We did ministry stuff together. Our families became tight. Our wives, our kids all became friends, and those friendships were forged over decades through illness, through crisis, through just doing life together in the trenches.
But if I'm honest. That group of three is now a group of two, um, with one of the guys. Uh, I was in business, we were partners, but that relationship ended badly, which is a really sad thing to be able to say. There were things that were said, there were things that were done that couldn't be overcome, and that friendship didn't survive.
The last communication we had was an email wishing each other well, and that was almost 10 years ago. So whilst Peter and John's friendship survived failure, not all of mine have, if I'm honest with you, and it's a journey for me, and I'm still learning why. But what I do know is that the friendships that remain, the ones are, that are really tight and close.
They weren't found, they were forged through time and through fire, through being there when it wasn't convenient through Grace, when I messed up and covenant when I wasn't the best friend that I could be. I have a, a really good friend who when I had a serious injury on my hand, you can see part of my, uh.
Finger is missing. Um, I had a serious injury to my hands about 20 some years ago, and he came up to visit me, uh, and he just gave me a check for 500 quids so I didn't have to rush back to work. Now it's not like he had loads of money to do this, he just gave it no questions asked. Um, and when Sharon had her diagnosis last year, he was the guy that called me the most.
Um, called regularly short calls, just checking in. No one was keeping score right? Grace and covenant in one person doing shared life together. So bringing this into land, as we like to say in Christian circles. Um. Let's close this up. So one thing that I want you to do, right, here's my invitation, my challenge for the week.
Um, I want you to take one step toward someone, not to earn their friendship, not to keep school, just to offer what you've received from Christ. Send a text, make the call, show up, bake something, send something, whatever it is, but pay attention right when you do that, to who steps back towards you. Yeah, because like I say, the best friends aren't found, they are forged, and I think real friends are rare.
I think they really are really good close friends. If you have one, two, or three, you're doing well. You don't usually have many, and I think that's okay. But lemme tell you, friendships like that are worth it. They're worth the time. They're worth the awkwardness, and they're worth the risk of getting hurt.
Yes, because when you find someone who offers you grace and covenant safety and security, when you find someone who stays through the fire and comes with you the other side, I think genuinely speaking, that is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. And I think it starts with being befriended by Jesus.
And if you've never experienced that kind of friendship with Jesus, if this is new to you. Then I think it's where it starts, and I think he offers you his friendship today. He's the one who called you friend before you earned it. The one who restored Peter after his worst failure. The one who says to you today, I am not going anywhere.
That's worth thinking about for a second, because you can receive that and then you can give that away. So who. Are you gonna reach out to this week?
## [00:28:21] Interactive Session and Audience Engagement
[00:28:21] Matt Edmundson: Normally at this point, I would hand over to the beautiful ladies who are now gonna, no, we, we think we can't. I'll be able to swap back over. Oh, can you take over?
Well, no, I'm gonna hit you. It takes over. Is that worth true? Uh, or do you wanna just We can, I, I don't know how that's gonna resume it now. It's the life. Sorry guys. We're just having a tech conversation. Um, I think you're just gonna be better off grab gathering, gathering around, um, 'cause at least Dan, I know this is working.
Come and join in if you like Dan.
[00:29:03] Sharon Edmundson: Yeah. More than merrier, squishing
[00:29:06] Matt Edmundson: round at the cone. Might
[00:29:08] Sharon Edmundson: bring my chair.
[00:29:09] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Go grab your chair. Get my chair. So, questions, thoughts, comments on a postcard. Go Anna.
[00:29:16] Anna Kettle: So I, I mean there was loads in that, wasn't there? Chair? Yeah, go on. I'll have a chair as well. That's, um, there was so much in that I really enjoyed that.
Um, I, I think when I reflect on friendship, I always think there's something about our generation have a lot of breadth and we don't always go that deep in friendship. Yeah. So we have a lot, you know, we might have 800 friends on Facebook, but. How many of these people do we see regularly in real life?
Yeah. I I just feel like sometimes, like in our generation, we swapped like depth of friendship for just knowing about lots of people. Oh yeah. Over knowing deep people. Deep, deep, yeah. Yeah. Wide over deep. And that is something that I constantly reflect on and regularly come back to and think, who are those people that I.
There's nothing wrong with knowing lots of people on a superficial level like I do, but I think I'm always coming back to, but who are those deep friendships that are there long term? Yeah. And go a bit deeper. And those people that really know me Yeah. And really hold me to account and like you say, are those people that you can phone at three in the morning or count on when something goes wrong, when you've got cancer diagnosis or all those kind of things.
[00:30:27] Sharon Edmundson: Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Yeah. Anna and I were talking before the live stream 'cause we both, um, read the notes for the talk beforehand and it kind of made us both sort of take stock of our friendships and go, oh yeah, yeah. Who are my friends? And I wonder whether anyone who's watching that's had that effect on you as well.
And whether that's made you feel happy, like, oh yeah, I've got these really deep friends. Or whether actually that's made you feel a bit sad because you've realized, oh, who is. In my life, who are my good friends. So yeah. Do um, add your comments Yeah. Where you're at. And I think, um, Ellis has already kind of commented on that.
Just, uh, I've got it up here. Um, and that was in relation to our, uh, description, which was to do with, um, surrounded by people, but feeling alone. I wonder if anyone can relate to that. Grieving a friendship that didn't survive. Or simply wondering how to go deeper. Yeah. Yeah. Where, or maybe you are like, like I just said, really thankful that you do have good friendships.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. So
[00:31:33] Matt Edmundson: it's a really powerful thing, isn't it? Grieving a friendship that didn't survive. Yeah. Um, you know, like my story at the end, I can totally relate to that because the, and the hard thing is you think it should, um, survive. Mm-hmm. And you question why it didn't, and. You question yourself a lot.
Mm. And rightly so too. I think over, over, over that friendship, I, I'm not saying I was without blame, um, but neither was all the blame mine. And I think it's a really hard place to get to, to just go, okay, that was for a season, you know? And, um, I think I said in my letter to them, um, that I'm gonna choose to remember the good times.
Uh, and, and, and the good memories. And that's where I try and focus my, my energy. Yeah. And just be okay with, for whatever reason that friendship for a season, um, was great. Um, but it's just really sad that it isn't now.
## [00:32:33] Grieving Lost Friendships
[00:32:33] Matt Edmundson: And so you kind of, you do grieve those friendships, I think, but I think you also learn from them, right?
Mm-hmm. And you, you take those into
[00:32:41] Anna Kettle: definitely,
[00:32:41] Matt Edmundson: um. Your, your other friendships and you become, like, for me, I'm super grateful with the guys that I'm tight with, you know, and just, um, yeah. I, I, Paul, whenever he writes a letter, when he, he says, whenever I remember you, I thank my God, um, he says this to quite a few of the churches that he writes to and I mm-hmm.
I think I'm like that with my friends. I remember friends and just go, oh, I'm so grateful for them. Mm-hmm. Um, so totally get it. Elli, you know, the grieving, the lost friendship.
[00:33:09] Sharon Edmundson: Hmm.
## [00:33:10] Loneliness in a Crowd
[00:33:10] Sharon Edmundson: The health about being in a Crowd and being lonely. I just wanna try and pick up on that a little bit. Yeah. I had a, um, a friend who'd said to me a few years, well, quite a few years ago, and she said that when she was at school, I think she was in quite a small class and she just didn't really click with any of the very few people in her class.
And she said it was a really lonely time because in one sense she was surrounded by people, but in another. Was very much on her own, but God actually used that time. She was a Christian even back then, and she used that time to really press into God and his friendship, and she said that really deepened her relationship with God.
And then, um, there's a verse that I looked up, um, earlier. Where it's two Corinthians one verse four, which says, he comforts us all in our troubles so that we can comfort others. Mm-hmm. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. Mm-hmm. So I guess it's just sort of an encouragement if that, if you are in that place of loneliness right now
[00:34:15] Anna Kettle: mm-hmm.
[00:34:16] Sharon Edmundson: To use it to press into God. Mm. Um, and then to ask him, I guess for in the future that. That can actually be turned around, can be used so that you are able to come for other people who are lonely and to reach out to them. Yeah. And that even if you are lonely at the moment, that doesn't have to be a permanent state of being.
Mm-hmm. I think C is temporary.
[00:34:38] Anna Kettle: Yeah. Yeah. And I actually, that, that reminded me.
## [00:34:41] Deepening Friendship with God
[00:34:41] Anna Kettle: I really like kind of one of the last points you made, Matt, about. How friendship really begins with God and friendship with God. And actually, if you can find a really deep friendship with God as your foundation in life, actually, I think it makes other friendships easier.
Yeah. It doesn't make them perfect, as we all know. Mm-hmm. But it certainly, I feel like a lot of the insecurity and fear that a lot of people have and that certainly I had when I was younger about friendships, like insecurity. Do they really like me? You know, like that, that fear that, yeah. Of rejection, I guess that we all have to a certain degree.
I think when I was secure in my relationship and friendship with God. It made me much more secure in my friendships with other people. Mm-hmm. And even when they weren't as deep as I would've wanted, or maybe people did let me down sometimes, I'm sure I've let people down a zillion times as well. Mm-hmm.
Um,
[00:35:34] Matt Edmundson: never me, Anna. It
[00:35:35] Anna Kettle: wasn't, never, never, but, but, um, so cheeky. Um, but I, I, you know, I, I, it, it made, yeah, it makes that kind of fear of rejection and disappointment and stuff a lot. Less important. Definitely like, 'cause I'm anchored in the most important relationship, which is God. And then I feel like it's great to have a few really deep friendships, but actually I'm okay with the fact that other friendships are seasonal and they come and gay.
Yeah. And some of them end badly, like the friendship you were talking about. But sometimes it's just seasonal, like Yeah, I've got a lady friends who are school mums at the moment, but it's my little boys last year in primary school. And I know I won't keep in touch with all those mums and. You know, 15 boy mums in that class.
There's no way that we'll all stay in touch when all boys go to different secondary schools because that mutual relationship of all boys being in the same class won't be there. So, you know, or, or work colleagues that are there, you work with for a season and then you lose touch with, or some uni friends, like I, I'm okay with some friendships coming and going.
Yeah, yeah. But act actually, I'm much more secure in who I am and that that's okay, and that's some z some. Relationships are seasonal and some, some last a lot longer. Yeah. And, and both are okay with me now.
[00:36:50] Matt Edmundson: And it's interesting, I think when you, when you are strong in your relationship with God
[00:36:55] Anna Kettle: mm-hmm.
[00:36:56] Matt Edmundson: The irony is it's easier to be friends with you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's, I think it's quite hard to be friends with someone that is really anxious and insecure about that friendship. Um, who. Needs that constant reassurance. Yeah. Um, I think it's, it's hard to have, it puts a lot of pressure on the friendship. It, yeah.
It puts an awful lot of pressure on the friendship. Mm-hmm. And so I think, I think it's easier to be a friend of someone that is quite secure in God. And I think this is important in a world where actually I don't think they know what, how to be friends. Mm-hmm. Right. It's like how do you develop friendships?
How do we be friends? Um. It's it, do I just like your Instagram post? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Yeah. Do we go for a beer once every six months? There's some really quite interesting questions, isn't there, around how you develop friendships. But before we get into that, uh, let me ask you, uh, Catherine's put in the comments.
Oops. Just disappeared. Sorry, Catherine, you I've got it here.
[00:37:52] Anna Kettle: You need that.
[00:37:54] Matt Edmundson: I get that. Jesus, um, was a friend. Do you think he felt guilty making friends with them, knowing that he was gonna leave them behind?
[00:38:04] Sharon Edmundson: It's a very interesting question. Mm-hmm. I think my thinking would be no, because guilt is to do with when you've done something wrong and Jesus being perfect.
Yep. He never did anything wrong. But also he said that he wouldn't leave us because he was sending his Holy Spirit. Mm-hmm. So although he's physically left us, he's also still with us. Yeah. By his Holy Spirit, which is how we can all be friends. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
[00:38:30] Matt Edmundson: With him, right? It is through, through the Holy Spirit.
But it's a very
[00:38:32] Sharon Edmundson: interesting question. Yeah. That's a good
[00:38:33] Matt Edmundson: question, Catherine. Thank you. Yeah.
## [00:38:36] Intentionality in Building Friendships
[00:38:36] Matt Edmundson: So how do you, um, how do you develop friendships in the modern world? You know, it's, it's, mm-hmm. That's a good question. It's an interesting question, isn't it? Um, like if you ask most people, do you want more friendships, better friendships?
I, I don't know anybody that would say no. Mm-hmm. Agree. Right. Um, so what are your thoughts on that? How do you, how do you deepen friendship? How do you get, how do you develop friendship? What's been your strategist?
[00:39:04] Anna Kettle: I mean, I think. I, I really found this after COVID, after we'd been in lockdown for a year, I felt like a lot of, a number of old friends had like, moved away or moved on or just moved outta my social sphere for, you know, all various reasons.
Yeah. Some of them moved outta the city that I live in and, um. Yeah. And I felt like I had to be really intentional Yeah. About building new friendships or reestablishing friendships that had sort of fallen away a little bit because we disconnected during COVID. You know, it's about a year of not socializing in a normal way.
And I, I feel like I, I learn to be really quite intentional about pursuing people and thinking, well, who are the people that I'd like to. Get to know more and I really, and because there was like suddenly quite a few friendship vacancies 'cause people moved away. I was like, right, I am gonna. I did some really practical things, like I, I joined a, a weekly Pilates group, which I'm still part of.
I joined a book group with a book club group with a few uni friends. Some of them are Christians, some of them aren't. Yeah. Um, I, um, joined a choir group that is sort of linked to our church and I just got to know some different people and, um, it's been really good. I just, some, sometimes I think you just have to be really proactive and sign up to something.
Do something different. Yeah. Like just go and go to where people are and try a few things and be okay with the fact that some things might work and others, others might not. But actually some of the things I've tried have worked really well and I've made really good friendships. Yeah. And I dunno if there'll be forever friendships, but certainly in this season of life.
Yeah. It's been really fulfilling. Yeah. And um, yeah, so sometimes I think you just have to put yourself out there a bit in quite an intentional way and it takes us back to that risking rejection or it not working, but being okay with that and just try and see what sticks. Yeah. Like probably not all of them will, but yeah.
[00:41:01] Matt Edmundson: Very
[00:41:02] Anna Kettle: good.
[00:41:02] Sharon Edmundson: Yeah, I like the idea of being intentional because I think it is. Easy, especially if you've got a busy life, it's easy to get distracted by lots of things and just to think, okay, what are actually the things that need to be important to me and trying to focus on those. Mm-hmm. Um, one of them I, I think, would be about being a good friend.
Um, yeah. Again, the Bible talks about give and it'll be given to you. So it is like, rather than sitting around waiting for someone to be a good friend to you, like making the first move. Um, again, it's I guess a biblical principles in it. Like Jesus came to find us. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, didn't wait, just wait around for us to Yeah.
Um, get sorted. But he came to where we were and put, you know, made that effort. So what about you?
[00:41:52] Matt Edmundson: Yeah, I, I think this idea that, for me, my experiences, this idea that friendships are forged. Mm-hmm. And I think. Which means you're gonna have to go through some stuff with some people for that friendship to give up the really deep friendships.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, and so, which is why I think, um, my deepest friendships are with Christian men. Mm-hmm. Okay. It's, it's not a coincidence. A alongside obviously my friendship with you, sweetheart. I wish we can get onto actually, how do you develop friendship with your spouse? 'cause I think you're.
Your spouse. It's an interesting friendship, isn't it? Like, yeah. But I also think men should have best mates who aren't just their wife. Mm-hmm. Right? Um, but I think, I think it's just this really interesting idea of forging the Bible uses this word, perfecting we perfect or strengthen, um, and the people that you do stuff with, that you go through some difficult things with.
I think the fundamental thing is you have to have a shared belief, a shared, um, sort of set of values, if that makes sense. Um, which is why I think it's really tricky if a non-Christian and a Christian get together and like a relationship. This I appreciate this's a complete different topic, but it's really complicated because all of a sudden that shared value isn't there.
Mm-hmm. Right. And I think that shared value of faith is what. Takes you through a lot of these, um, life experiences.
[00:43:35] Anna Kettle: And it's not, it's not, I guess, like. We we're not like saying, you can't be friends if you don't have the same faith as someone. No, no. I've got a lot of friends, 'cause I've got lots of non-Christian friends and all that, Muslim friends, all that.
You
[00:43:46] Sharon Edmundson: can't have good
[00:43:46] Anna Kettle: friendships
[00:43:47] Sharon Edmundson: if
[00:43:47] Anna Kettle: you're not a Christian. Yeah, yeah. We're not saying that at all. No, but it's just that as a Christian, the deepest friendships that you connect on the most levels with are probably gonna be with people who share the same faith as you. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:43:57] Matt Edmundson: That'd be my experience.
[00:43:58] Anna Kettle: Yeah. I think mine too. It's just you can go on a deep level together and like we can pray about things that will worrying us and chat about things and about how it things affect our relationships with God. And yeah, I can't do that with friends that don't believe in the same God as me or don't believe in God at all.
So yeah, it's, it's just different isn't it. Changes that dynamic.
[00:44:18] Matt Edmundson: Yeah, totally. Mm-hmm. So I think that's really important.
## [00:44:21] Friendship in Marriage
[00:44:21] Matt Edmundson: And how do you guys, um, well I know how you do it 'cause we're married, but, um, friendship in marriage. What do you think about this as an idea?
[00:44:28] Anna Kettle: Yeah, I mean, I think a good marriage starts with good friendship, doesn't it?
Mm-hmm. Like I feel like certainly when, I mean, every marriage is so different, but certainly in my marriage with Andy, I feel like we get on best when we do friend, friend type stuff. Mm-hmm. You know, like when we're just cohabiting and sharing childcare and doing all the chores, we can get quite like.
Argumentative with each other and wind each other up. I don't believe it. I know hard to believe because I'm pretty perfect to live with. Um, no mention that, that's what Andy says. Yeah. All time. Andy, like, Andy's not watching the live stream. Um, but I feel like when we do the fun stuff together, the friendship stuff, like we go out to the cinema or go to a gig together, like we both like live music when we, you know, just.
Do go for a drink together. Like just do the actual fun hanging out stuff that you would want to do with any friend. Yeah. Go for a coffee. Mm-hmm. And actually chat. Yeah. Like, it's amazing how busy life can be. Yeah. And you can be on a routine and actually it's, but it's when we do those things together that we actually, yeah.
Remember we like each other and get on a lot better. Get a lot better. So, yeah. I, I think that that works in all kind of friendships, including marriage.
[00:45:38] Matt Edmundson: Yeah, I think, and going back to your word about intentionality, I think probably more so in marriage, don't you? You have to be intentional. Yeah. 'cause it's easy to take the other per, not taken for granted, but take the situation for granted
[00:45:49] Anna Kettle: maybe.
[00:45:50] Sharon Edmundson: Mm-hmm. And to drift, maybe.
[00:45:51] Anna Kettle: Yeah. Yeah. And I think you can get so busy with everything else going on, can't you? And yeah, put all your other friendships first. Like you have to be, we're quite intentional about, oh, we need a night in together or a night out together, or some time together. Mm-hmm.
[00:46:05] Matt Edmundson: What do you think the idea then of.
Um, men and women being good friends, but not married. As in like, can you have good friendships with guys who are married to somebody else or who aren't? Well basically they're not married to you and they're not your husband. Mm-hmm. I'm kind of curious, how do you manage that?
[00:46:26] Anna Kettle: I think you can, I think you have to be wise about it, and I think you have to do it in a different way, like.
I feel like I do have male friends, but they're not quite as deep as my female friends or my marriage Yeah. Friendship. Mm-hmm. Um, I think it was different when I was single. I think I just had lots of male and female friends and I think it has changed. And you know, I'm not constantly texting fun stuff to like other, other male friends.
Yeah. But you know, I have work colleagues who are friends. You know, we are friends, don't we? Yeah. But it's not. Probably to the same level that I'm friends with some of my girlfriends. You don't text me all the time. No, I don't. We, which I sound grateful for. Only the only time that texts me is when he is like, can you do, can you do Crowd Church on Sunday?
So yeah, it's like a different level. But also we would go out for a coffee and chat about some stuff anyway, so, um, yeah, I, I think. There's nothing wrong with it per se, but I think you have to be quite wise about it and maybe just ex, yeah,
[00:47:25] Sharon Edmundson: just have some clear boundaries, I think. Yeah, and I think one of the things that draws people close together is if you are like sharing on a vulnerable level.
So I personally wouldn't do that with any other guy unless Matt was present as well. Yeah, definitely. Because I think you just connect then and. Above everything else, I wanna protect our marriage covenant like that. Mm-hmm. Comes before every, you know? Mm-hmm. Other than God. Yeah. Before all other relationships.
So anything that's gonna put that in danger, I'm just gonna avoid completely.
[00:47:59] Matt Edmundson: Very good.
[00:48:00] Sharon Edmundson: So
[00:48:00] Anna Kettle: it's like you can have the kind of fun friendships. Yeah. You know, like on the lighter level. Yeah. And social friendships, but probably not the deep forged ones with other,
[00:48:08] Matt Edmundson: I think couples can have deep forged friendships with other couples.
Yeah. Um, like I think we, we are good friends, aren't we? With, with a couple of couples. With couples, yeah. Yeah. That's, and
[00:48:16] Sharon Edmundson: we all talk together. So the friendship in that level, but I wouldn't meet up on a regular basis. Do it one on one. Yeah. One on one with another guy.
[00:48:24] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's an interesting, I think you create interest in dynamics.
Um, but like you say, I think for me, laughter is one of those important things in friendship. The ability to, to laugh. Um,
[00:48:40] Anna Kettle: particularly at yourself. Yeah. Yeah. It's usually me. I think
[00:48:45] Matt Edmundson: I definitely laugh at myself a lot. We mostly just laugh at you too. Yeah, yeah. I know. That's fine. I'm okay with that. I'm secure.
Um, but yeah, I think, I think, I think things like that make a big difference.
## [00:48:54] Concluding Thoughts on Friendship
[00:48:54] Matt Edmundson: So, um, I'm aware of time. I appreciate we start a little bit late because of the technical D difficulties. Sorry again, ladies and gentlemen for that. Oh yeah. I didn't
[00:49:02] Sharon Edmundson: realize the time at all. Chatting away. I've got all these other bits though.
Talk about.
[00:49:07] Matt Edmundson: Well, I was gonna say, is there anything else you want to,
[00:49:09] Sharon Edmundson: I think just something to, um, finish on really, unless either of you have got something. Okay. But, but, um, Matt talked about as Christ followers being friends of God, and it is in the Bible it does talk about like not every person is a friend of God.
Um, the verse I think you read out was, if you do what I want, you're my friends. And, and that sounds a bit like do as I, yeah. Mm-hmm. But it's more like, um. The heart relationship. But James four, verse four says, friendship with the world makes you an enemy with God. Mm-hmm. Um, so it's like the world being the world systems, anything that sort of sets, its up against the way that.
God would have things wrong. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, you're actually in the enemy bracket, but God doesn't want you to be in the enemy bracket who wants you to be in the friend bracket. So if you are in that situation where you're like, actually, I don't know if I'm a friend of God, um, it's like John three 16 says, God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that.
Uh, what was it? Whoever, whoever I've forgotten the rest of it is so well believe in him. Whoever leaves in him will not perish, but have eternal life. Just need a bit of coaching there, didn't she? Oh, I did. I did. And you'd done bible school as well. Oh yeah, I know. Um, it's the memory though. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like Jesus came so that to bring us all into that friendship, to bring us all into that.
Family, but we have to accept it. So if that's you, that invitation is open to you as well. So that's just what I thought. Very good. Yeah. My last parting, parting gift,
[00:50:40] Matt Edmundson: that's a good parting gift. Anything from your good self?
[00:50:42] Anna Kettle: Yeah. I think just following on from what Sharon's just said, like I, as I said at the beginning, I think friendship with God is where it all begins.
Yeah. If you want better relationships and friendships in your life, start with Yeah. Pursuing a deeper relationship with God that, yeah. You know. I think that that's changed my friendships massively.
[00:51:01] Matt Edmundson: Yeah. Yeah. And I think actually one of the things you can pray for is friendships. Mm-hmm. Right? True. So if you are lonely, one of the things to pray for is friendships.
Lord, show me how to be a better friend with you. Show me how to be a better friend to other people.
[00:51:15] Sharon Edmundson: Help me connect with the right people. Help me connect with the right
[00:51:17] Matt Edmundson: people and um, you know, get out there. And, and see what God does. 'cause you just never know, right? Mm-hmm. It's like I say, just press in to some people and see who presses back and to see where that goes.
Um, I do think friendships are worth it. I do think they're like with marriage, it takes effort, it takes, um, intentionality, but I think it's one of the most life-giving things to have is to say you've got good friends. Mm-hmm. True. Who you can call on at any time. Uh, without judgment and they will support you through whatever it is you are going through.
Mm. Um, and that's a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing and worth pursuing. Yeah. So next week, do you know what's happening next week? Of course you don't. I'm, I don't, I'm not here next week. So you're not on next week, are you? Um, I
[00:52:05] Anna Kettle: pay no attention unless I'm joking. I'm taking, I do actually quite out to watch when I'm not here, but I dunno what's happening next week.
[00:52:11] Matt Edmundson: Um, next week is Mike Harris. Cool. Uh, Mike's a legend. Yeah. Um, I'm hosting with Jenny, um, and we're gonna talk about what it means to love your neighbor when Jesus gave that command. Um, so we're talking about relationships. Um, so next we're gonna get onto what it means to love your neighbor. We do have the alpha course, which was mentioned at the start.
If you'd like to do alpha joiners, it's not too late. We've done week one. You would be more than welcome to come join us for week two. It's been a great, great start. Really enjoyed it. Um, but we are gonna end it there. We'll open up live lounge. Um, I would say down, put the. Comment, put it in the comments.
We should stay here. Yeah. I should probably put it in the comments actually, because Dan's not got access to them right now. Uh, let me do that. No. What day
[00:53:02] Anna Kettle: is Alpha on for anyone
[00:53:03] Sharon Edmundson: who wants to come? Oh, Wednesday. Wednesday. Cool. Yeah. We've also got a couple of midweek small groups, which are. On Zoom, I think, uh, yeah, uh, I, I lead a women's only one and Aiden, Sonya lead a mixed one.
Mm-hmm. So you're very welcome to come to those. Just send us some message and we'll, uh, Crowd Church connect you with that.
[00:53:23] Matt Edmundson: There you go. I think I've put the right link in the Go Crowd Church slash meet. Great. Is that right? Have I spelled it all right? I think so. Um, that's it. It's roughly, we'll find out in a minute, won't we?
Anyone shows up up. But you're more than welcome to come, uh, see us in Live Lounge. Well, we won't be there long 'cause I appreciate the time is getting on and if you want to get on, obviously don't feel like you have to come join us, but it'd be great to see you in there. But yeah, hopefully see you next week.
Hopefully we'll have the kit up and running. Otherwise, we'll be sat around the laptop again. Um, seem to work okay.
[00:53:56] Anna Kettle: It's like the old days, isn't it? When we first started. It is. It's like back to the beginning,
[00:54:01] Matt Edmundson: uh, which I quite like. Uh, it's quite raw. Uh, but bless you guys. Have a great week wherever you are in the world.
Uh, we'll see you next time.
[00:54:08] Anna Kettle: See you soon. Bye.
[00:54:08] Matt Edmundson: Bye for now.